Food and Drink; 252 Jokes

roti

Ek fakir pathan k pas aya.
.
.
Pathan: kal ki roti kha lo ge?
.
.
Fakir: ji kha lon ga.
.
.
Pathan: Thk hy. Tu phr kal time se a jana....:-D

by @irha@ (last year!)
LIght

I m on a light diet:
I eat in daylight
I eat in moonlight
And sometimes, I eat in refrigerator light!

by @irha@ (last year!)
How many apples can u eat

Girl to Sardar: How many apples can u eat with
empty stomach?
Sardar:4 apples.
Girl:U can eat only 1 apple bcoz when u eat 2nd
apple then ur stomach is not empty.
Sardar:Wah yar kamal kr diya, myn apny doston ko
b bataon ga,
Sardar to his frnd:
How many apples can u eat with empty stomach?
Frnd:6 apples
Sardar: O jaa yaar.. tu 4 bolda ty enna shugal
lagna c…

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
I was just drunk

5 reasons why you are my friend….
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
No Reason Found!
I was just drunk

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
bhai jaan cigrate to dena,

Pathan to dukandaar.
bhai jaan cigrate to dena,
Dukandaar:
Kon Sa?
Pathan"
Jis main se dhooa niklai........

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Kabristaan Me Smoking

Santa Qabristan Me Charas Pi Raha Tha
Police=Kya Kar Rahe Ho ?
Santa=Abbu K Liye Dua,
Police=Ye To Bachche Ki Qabr Hai
Santa=Abbu Bachpan Me Hi Mar Gaye The.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!

1 Kanjoos 14th floor se neeche gira
Girte waqt usne apni ghar ki khirki me apni wife ko
roti pakate hue dekha, to chilla k bola
MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Agar Dil Ka Naam Anda Hota

Agar dil ka naam Anda(egg) hota toh films ka
naam is tarha hote..
Ye Anda aapka hua Hum Anda de chuke sanam,
Hum aapke Ande main rehte hain,
Ande wale dulhaniya le jayenge..

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
1 Aalu ne Bhindi k number pe I love u ka msgbheja,

1 Aalu ne Bhindi k number pe I love u ka msg
bheja,
Bhindi ne use phone kar k bura bhala kaha aur boli:
Shut up,
Tum itne mote aur main Slim and Smart..”
Aur aalu ka dil tod diya…
Aalu ko bahut dukh hua or us ne fir itni sabziyan
fasaayi ki Aaj aap khud hi dekh lo,
Aalu-Ghobi,
Aalu-Bengan,
Aalu-Shimla mirch,
Aalu-Palak,
Aalu-Matar,
Aalu-Gajar
Aur Bindhi us din se aaj tak akeli hai..
MORAL:
MAT KAR ITNA GURUR SURAT PAR AYE HASEENA
MAT KAR ITNA GURUR SURAT PAR AYE HASEENA
TERI SURAT PE NAHI HUM TO TERI SADGI PE
MARTE HAIN…

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Santa: oye banta machli khayega

Santa: oye banta machli khayega?
Banta: nhi yaar usme kaante hote hain.
Santa: oye chadd yaar, chappal pahen ke kha lena.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Santa: Sharab pite pite rone laga

Santa: Sharab pite pite rone laga
Banta: Kya hua kyo ro rahe ho?
Santa: Yaar ki kara jis ladki ko bhulane k liye pi
raha tha,uska naam yaad nhi aa raha hai

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Log To Hadd Se Jyada Besharam Hai

Ek Baar Saare Fruits Apne-Apne Baare Mein Ek-
Doosre Se Batate Hai.
Angoor: “Log Itne Gande Hote Hai Ke Mujhe Chaba
Lete Hai”
Seb: “Log Itne Gande Hote Hai Ke Mujhe Cheel Kar
Khate Hai”
Kela: “Log Itne Besharam Hote Hai Mujhe Nanga
Kar Ke Khate Hai“

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Itni Jaldi Nasha Kaise Hoga?

Swarag Mein Sharaab Pee Pee Kar Naarad Ji Bore
Ho Gaye To Ek Din Dharti Par Bear Pine Ka
Program Banaya Aur Ek Baar Mein Pahunch Gaye.
Baarah Botal Pine Ke Baad Waiter Ne Hairan Hote
Hue Naarad Se Puchha,
Waiter: “Aapko Chadti Nahi kya?”
Narad Ji Muskurate Hue Bole: “Main Bhagwan Hoon
Na Isliye”

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Santa Ne Ek Bar Bazar Mein Amrood Khareede

Santa Ne Ek Bar Bazar Mein Amrood Khareede Aur
Khane Laga.
Achanak Usne Dekha Ki Marood Ke Bich Mein Ek
Keeda Hai.
Santa Gusse Se Amrood Wale Se: “Abe Oye, Tere
Amrood Mein Se To Kida Nikla Hai”
Amrood Wale Ne Socha Ye Santa Hai, Isko Pagal
Banaya Jaye, Bola.
Amrood Wala: “Bhai, Apni Apni Kismat Hai, Kya
Pata Agle Amrood Mein Se Motorcycle Nikal Aaye”
Santa Ne Ye Suna Aur Khush Hoke Bola: “Achha,
Chal Fir 5 Killo Pack Kar De“

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Aap main aur PEPSI

Aap main aur PEPSI main 3 chezain ek jesi hain.
1_Sab ko pasand hai
2_Dono sweet hai
Or
3_Dono mai dimaag ki jaga dhakan laga hai..:-

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)

Most Viewed Jokes

Baba Sexydas Ke Gyaan Ka Kya..

Sardar roz subha

Promise Karo

Sardar

The Story behind "Ladies Fir..

Bivi ne pati ke gale main

A Sardarji goes to a hotel

Iska pasive voice banao

Aik Surgeon Ne Mamoli Operat..

Student

Existing Users Login
User ID  
Password  
 
 
Join Now / Forgot Password

also you can..
Login with Facebook