Food and Drink; 252 Jokes

I am drunk

MOM I'm drunk WHAT!!!!!! i said I'm drunk
HOW DARE YOU!!!!! SLAP
I was drinking bud lite OK good night

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A turkey

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at
the grocery store, but couldn't find one big
enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any
bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Good to eat.

Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?
Father: Have I not told you never to mention such
things during meals!
Mother: Why did you say that, Junior? Why did you
ask the question?
Johnny: It's because I saw one on daddy's lettuce,
but now it's gone.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Three mans

Three men were flying in a plane.
One dropped out an apple the other dropped an
orange and the other dropped a grenade.
After landing they were walking down the street
and saw a kid crying.
They asked him why he was crying and he said "an
apple hit me in the head".
Then they saw another kid crying he said "an
orange hit me in the head".
Then they saw a kid laughing his head off and they
asked him what was so funny he said
"I farted and my house blew up!"

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Hotel ka manager

Hotel K Manger Ne Bari Heriat Se Police Inspecter
Se Pocha
Ap Ko Kese Pata Chala K Hum Ne Bartan Dhone
Wale Badal Dia Ha ?
Police Fingure Print...=

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A drunk man

A drunk man was smoking drugs while driving.
The policeman stop him and says, "Show me you
ID?"
The drunk man, "What drugs??

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
I eat fruit

Every time I eat fruit..
Patient: 'Doctor, every time I eat fruit I get this
strange urge to give people all my money.'
Doctor: 'Would you like an apple or a banana?'

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Milk badam

Airhostess: Sir ap kia lain gy?
pathan: Milk badam, kheer,pakora, tandori chicken wid naan & niswar

Airhostess: Sir tusi jahaaz ty aaye ho apny peo dy viaah ty nhe

by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)
Tm Khali Pait Ktna Apple Kha Skta Hy?

Girl to Pathan:Tm Khali Pait Ktna Apple Kha Skta Hy?
Pathan:4
Girl:Nhi!
Sirf 1,Kiuki Usky Baad To Tmhara Pait Khali To Nhi Rahega Na
Pathan:Wah Yara Kamal Hogya!
Hm Apny Dost Ko b Batayega
.
.
Pathan,Dost Sy:Tm Khali Pait Ktna Apple Kha Skta Hy?
Dost:5
Pathan O Yara!Tu 4 Bolta To Itna Mazedar Joke Sunata!

by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)
candle light dinner

Queen Elizabeth & Pathan were havng candle light dinner.
Queen says-
Pass d wine u divine!
"Pathan thinks-"how poetic"!
Pathan says-"pass d roti u moti"

by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)
CHILKAY SAMET KELA

AIK PATHAN CHILKAY SAMET KELA KHA RAHA THA
ADMI NE POCHA TO KEHNAY LAGA MUJHAY YAQEEN HA IS KE ANDAR KELE HI HOGA.

by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)
Cigarette ka sutta

Ek Cheeta Cigarette ka sutta lagane hi wala tha ki achanak ek chuha wahan aya aur bola bhai chor do nasha, ao mere sath,dekho ye jungle kitna khubsurt hai. Cheeta choohe k sath chal dia Aage 1 hathi cocaine pi rha tha, chooha Fir bola, bhai chor do nasha,ao mere sath,dekho ye jungle kitna khubsurt

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
12 Kailay

Bacha: Maine Hathi K Samne
12 Kailay Rakhe Usne 11 Khaliay
1 Q Nhi Khaya?

Admi: Hathi Ka Pait Bhr Gaya Hoga.

Bacha: Nahi 12wa Kaila Plastic Ka Tha.

Acha Dubara
Maine Hathi K Samne 12 Kailay Rkhe To Usne Aik B Nhi Khaya Q?

Admi: Saray Kailay
Plastic K Hongay?

Bacha: Nahi Ghalat.
Is Dafa Hathi Plastic Ka Tha.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Ajj Tainu Khan Nu G Krda A!

2 Cats To Shrabi Rat:
Ajj Tainu Khan Nu G Krda A!

Rat: Chappair Na Kha Lein
Main Es Layi Nai Kuch Kehnda
K Log Kehn Gay
1 Shrabi Ne 2 Jananiyan Kutt Dittiaan ;-

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Bhikari Ne Phone Kiya

Bhikari Ne Phone Kiya: Hello Taj Hotel

Taj:Yes
1 Biryani1 Pizza Bhej Do

Taj: Kiske Nam Pe Bhej Du Sir
Allah Ke Nam Pe Bhej De

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)

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