Lawers and Legal; 128 Jokes

Gahak

hazaar rupay jurmana aed kya jata hai.
chor ( haath bandh kar ) : huzoor! baqaida anay walay gahak ke sath kuch to riayat honi

by @irha@ (few years ago!)
Ek Wakeel K Betay

Ek Wakeel K Betay Ko uski maan Ne Thapharr
Mara.
Beta Baap K Pas Gya Aur Kaha Ammi Ne Mujhe
bilaWaja Maara hai.
Baap Ne Usay ek aur Thapharr maara aur Kaha:
Wakeel K Bete HoKar Tumhen Itna B nahi Pata K
SupremeCourt K khilaaf Appeal HighCourt mai nahe
Hoti.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Sardar to Wakeel

Sardar:
Bachpan vich maan di gal suni hondi te aj a din na
vekhna painda.
Wakeel:
Kya kehti thi tumhari maan?
Sardar:
Anni deya jadon gal e nien suni tey fer dasaan ki.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Judje. Tum ne apne malik ko zehar

Judge:Tumne Apne Malik Ko Zehar Q Diya
Mulzim:QK Unho Ne Kaha Tha K Aisa Thanda Pani
Pilao
K Thanda Ho Jau Maine Zehar Daal Kar De Diya

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Divorce and Legal separation

"The difference between divorce and legal
separation
Is that legal separation gives a husband time to
hide his money."

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Talak leni hai

husband-talak lena hai,
advocate-talak lene ke liye 5000rp lagenge,
husband-pagal ho kya?pandit ne 51rp me shadi
kari thi.
advocate-dekh liye na saste ka natija.....

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Tum na hoge to hum BEWAQOOF kisay banayenge

Tumse mil kar hogaya zindgi se pyar
Raah main chorr kar mat jana mere yaar
Bin tere hum ji na payenge
Tum na hoge to hum
BEWAQOOF
kisay banayenge;-)

by khalid hussain (few years ago!)
Phansi se pehle

Inspector to Banta: Phaansi se pehle, bata teri
antim ichha kya hai?
Banta: Mere pair upar aur sir neeche kar k faansi
de do..

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Lost his cheque book

Santa Lost His Cheque Book:
Bank Manager: Be Careful, Anyone Can Put Ur
Sign,
Santa: Oye, I’m Not A Fool, I Have Already Signed
All Cheques.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Raping a girl

Santa is raping a girl. Girl shouting,
Santa : Chillao yahan se tumhari awaz bahar nahi ja
sakti,
Girl : Mujhe yakin nahi aata,
Santa : Theek hai mein yahan chillata hun tum
bahar jaake suno aawaz aati hai ya nahi?

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
aik wakeel

Ek aurat ne 1 wakil se pocha k talak lene ke liye
kia sharayat lazmi hoti hain ? Wakil Bola “Talak
lene ke liye aap ko shadi shuda hona zarori hai”

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Kya tum jail gaye ho?

Judge-Kya Tum Jail Gye Ho..?
Chor-Ji Nahi,
Judge-To Isme Rone Ki Kya Baat Hai Abhi Bhej
Dete Hai

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Mout ki sza

Snta Ko Elecrtic Chair P Bitha K Maut Ki Saza
Sunai Gai
Jalad-Aakhri Khuahish Kya Hai?
Snta-Mujhe Dar Lag Raha Hai Mera Hath Pakad Le

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Ek Train Ulatne Ka Case Adalat

Ek Train Ulatne Ka Case Adalat Me Tha Train Ka Driver Jo K Pathan Tha Us Se Pocha K Tum Ne Train Patri Se Q Utari?

Pathan: Oo Yaara 1 Banda Samne Aa Gaya Tha Brake Maarne Ka Time Nahi Tha. Humara Officer Ne Bola K Is K Uppar Charha Do.

Wakel: Phir?

Pathan: Wo Banda Patri Se Uttar Gaya… ;-(

by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)
Judge: Tum Teesri Bar Adalat Me Aarhe Ho

Judge: Tum Teesri Bar Adalat Me Aarhe Ho, Tumhe Sharam Nahi Aati?

Pathan: Tum Roz Aata Hai,T
Tumko Aati Hai Kya??

by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)

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