Food and Drink; 252 Jokes

1 glass juice

Santa
Jaldi se 1 Glass Juice Do Larai Hone Wali hai
Peny Ke Bad
1 Glass aur do Larai Hone Wali Hai
Juice Wala
Larai Kb Hogi?
Santa:Jab To Paise Mange ga

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Gold Biscuit

Friends Are like “Priya Gold Biscuit” Haq Se
maango
Girl Friends are like Pepsi Yeh Dil Maange More
Wife is like a medicine Bas Ek hi kaafi hai

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Dil ko egg

Agar “Dil” ko aanda(egg) kehtey
to indian films k naam aisay hote
Hum Aanda de chuke sanam,
Yeh aanda aapka huwa,
Hum aap k aanday main rehte hain,
Aandy waale Bread le jayienge…

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Zayda nasha kis chex main

Ustaad: Sab se ziada nasha kis cheez mei hota hai?
Shagird: Taleem me...
Ustaad: Wo kaisy
Shagird: Janab,
.
.
.
.
Kitaben kholte he neend aa jati hai.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Double insult

Waiter: Khan sahb, 10 Rs tip to meri insult hy..
Khan: To phir..?
Waiter: 20 Rs to hon..
Khan: Main tumhari double insult nhi kr skta..!!

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
MC k hotel main

Bilu MC ki hotal me- are bhai kab se wait kar raha
hu,
Khana abhi tak nahi aaya?
Mc – sar khana to char din se bana rakha hai bas
garam ho raha hai!!

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Roti main itna ghee

Maalik:-are raamu aaj tumne roti main kitna saare
ghee laga diya..
Naukar:-are saahab maaf karna shayad galti se
maine apni roti aapko de di hai,

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Khana khaya hai kya?

Santa: tumne us aadmi ko aisa kyu maara?
Banta: usne mujhe poocha ke "Khaana khaaye
kya"?
Santa: arey, bhala hi poocha hai na. phir kyu
maara?
Banta: main toilet mein baita tha

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Sharab cigarette

Baap: Sharab, Cigarette, Larkiyan Ye Sab Tumhari
Jaan k Dushman Hain.
.
.
.
Beta: Jo Shakhs Apne Dushmano Se Bhaag Jaye Wo
Mard Nahi Hota Abba. :-)

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Shadi main khana

Shadi main Khana khany k 2 usool.
Rule 1:
Pehli baar is tarha khao k dosri baar nahi milega.
Rule 2:
Doosri baar is tarha khao k pehli bar mila he nahi.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Aag lag gai

MOLU:Ghar me aag lag
gayi, aag lag gayi
GOLU:Mujhe kya
MOLU: Bevkoof! Tere
ghar me lagi hai
GOLU: Fir tujhe kya

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Complan

Ek Girl Fasi Laga Rahi Thi
GOLU Ne Window Se Dekha, Socho GOLU Kya Bola
Hoga?
Sirf Latkne Se Height Nhi Badhegi Mumy Ko Bolo
COMPLAN Pilaye.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Chawal

Santa Pandu Ji Se Puchta Hai: Yaar Tere Ghar
Latrine Bani Hai?
Pandu: Haan, Kyu?
Santa: Aisi He, Mere Ghar To Kadi Chawal Bana
Hai. :-)

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Eating fish

After Eating Fish Santa Don't Drink Water
Why? Because
He Feared That Fish Will Start Swimming In His
Stomach.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Lunch Or Dinner

Teacher:
2 Aisi Cheezo K Naam Batao Jinhe Nashte Me Nhi Kha Sakte

Sardarji: Sir! Lunch Or Dinner.

by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)

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