Search Results for 'Doctor'
Patient to the doctor, 'Whenever i drink coffee, i have this sharp, excruciating pain.''Try to remember to remove the spoon from the cup before drinking,'
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A man walks into the doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his
nose, a carrot in his left_inner ear and a banana in his right ear.'
Whats the matter with me?' he asks the doctor,The doctor replies 'You are not eating properly.'
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A baseball manager who had an ulcer was in his physician office for a check-up. 'Remember,' the doctor said, 'Dont get excited, dont get mad and forget about baseball when youre off the field.'
Then he added, 'By the way, how come you let the pitcher bat yesterday with the tying run on second and two men out in the ninth.'
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Patient: I always see spots before my eyes. Doctor: Didnt the new glasses help? Patient:
Sure, now i see the spots much clearer.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Rizwan: Doctor say help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Rizwan: Phone karte waqt
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room.
He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.
Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.
The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing.
The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?"
The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing.
Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb."
The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red.
The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself"
Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. Was it true, the woman wanted to know, that the medication the doctor had prescribed was for the rest of her life? She was told that it was.
There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'".
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
or his wife's birthday party, a doctor ordered
a cake with this inscription:
"You are not getting older,
You are just getting better."
When asked how he wanted it arranged, he said,
"Just put 'You are not getting older' at the top,
and 'You are just getting better' at the bottom."
It wasn't until the good doctor was ready
to serve the cake that he discovered it read:
"YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP,
YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Raat ka time jab Munna aur Chinkie apnay bed room mien so rahay thay to phone ki ghanti baji.
Voice: Aray doctor sahab jaldi aayeay! Meray betay nay blade kha liya hai.
Munna abhi jaanay k liye tayyar hi hota k dobara phone aata hai.
Voice: Doctor Sahab! Aab aanay ki koi zaroorat nahi, meray husband ko shave k liye doosra blade mil gaya hai
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Chilhood: When you make faces at mirror. Middle age is when mirror gets even.
Bald man: A person who has lot of face to wash and very little hair to comb.
Marriage: An institution in which a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a women gets her master’s.
Doctor: Who cures your ills by pills and kills you by his bills.
Alimony: A mode of payment that enables a women who at one time lived happily married to live happily unmarried.
Indian Film Heroines: If they display their assets, the producer recovers his liabilities.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Patient: Doctor ap ko yakeen hai k mujhay Namoonia (pneumonia) hai, kyun k pichlay dino aik doctor meri friend ka Namoonia ka ilaaj karta raha aur woh Typhoid say mar gayi.
Munna: Haan ray meray ko akha yaqeen hai, tu namoonia say hi maray ga.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
This guy went to hospital for a circumcision, but because of a mix up, he ended up having a complete sex change.
All of the doctors and nurses had gathered around his bed as he was waking up so they could give him the bad news.
Naturally, the poor guy went to pieces and started crying when they explained what had happened to him.
"Oh no!" he moaned, "this means I`ll never be able to experience an erection ever again!"
"Of course you will," one of the doctors soothed. It`ll just have to be someone else`s, that`s all."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Santa`s father comes home from his doctor and, though usually quite active with his grand-children, seems to make every effort to avoid them this day.
Santa notices his dad avoiding the kids and asks him why this is so.
Immediately the old man whisks his medicine prescription out of his pocket and hands it to Santa.
His father said, "Read that label. That`s why!"
Santa takes the bottle and reads, "Take two pills a day. KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A doctor had just delivered twins. They were a boy and a girl.
The head nurse brought them out for their father to see.
He could hardly believe his good fortune. The girl baby had a pink blanket wrapped around her and the boy baby was enclosed in a blue blanket.
He took one step forward just so he could touch the babies and believe they had finally arrived.
As he started to touch them the nurse took a step backwards and said, "You can`t touch those babies. You aren`t sterile!"
With out missing a beat, he retorted "You`re telling ME I`m not sterile?!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient’s room.
He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.
Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.
The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing.
The patient replied, “Can’t you see I’m sawing this piece of wood in half?”
The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing.
Patient #1 replied, “Oh. He’s my friend, but he’s a little crazy. He thinks he’s a lightbulb.”
The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2’s face is going all red.
The doctor asks Patient #1, “If he’s your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself”
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)