Celebrities; 371 Jokes

A blonde was swerving

A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving
very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"

The blonde said, "I`m sorry sir, but wherever I go,
there`s always a tree in front of me and I can`t seem to get away from it!"

The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that`s your air freshener!"

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Nikah K bad

Nikah K bad.
Admi:Fees?
Molvi:bv ki khubsurti K mutabiq de do!
Admi ne10 rupay de diye
Achanak hawa se Larki ka ghonghat uth gya
Molvi:Baqaya to Le Lo bhai.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A young girl married an old rich man!

A young girl married an old rich man!
Neighbor asks the girl: Tumne insmein shadi ke liye kia dheka?
Girl : Ek to in ki income aur doosra in ke din kum.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
The Bride After Her Engagement

The Bride After Her Engagement
Goes To Her Mom And Says:
I Have Finally Found A Man Just Like Papa


Mom:
So, What Do You Want From Me?


Daughter:
Sympathy

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Happy Birthday To U"

Ek Larka Bike Par Ja Raha Tha..
Bike Ka Tyre Bhains K Gobar
K Beech Mein Se Guzer Gya,
Qareeb Kuch Larkiya Khari Thi.
Unho Ney Taliyan Baja K Kaha:"Happy Birthday To U"
.
.
.
Larka Ruka Or Bola:
serf Wish Karney Se Kaam Nahi Chaley Ga

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Shadi me aik sardar

Shadi me aik sardar boht dair se khana ka raha tha kisi ne poocha kab tak khao gy,
sardar.. Me tu khud tang hon par kiya kron card pe likha tha
"KHANA 12 SE 2 TAK"

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Biwi ne New mobile

Biwi ne New mobile or Sim li or socha Shohar ko Surprise don,
Shohar Room mei betha tha wo kitchen mei gai or shohar ko Call ki:
Helo Drling

Shohar ne halki Awaz me jwab dia: Tum baad me cal krna abi ‘kamini’ kitchen me hai

Hoor kero Surprise

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
EID MUBARAK"

Sardar ko Gali mai 100 rupey ka note mela
Note ke oper lekha tha "EID MUBARAK"
Sardar ne idhar udhar dekha
owr Note Jaib mai rakthy howe bola
"KHAIR MUBARAK"

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Husband: Tumse shaadi karke

Husband: Tumse shaadi karke mujhe ek bahut bada faayda hua hai!

Wife: Woh kya?

Husband: Mujhe mere gunaaho ki saza jeete jee hi mil gayi!

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Wife : main jald marne wali ho

Wife : main jald marne wali ho
Husband : main b jald marne wala ho
Wife : tum kayo jaldi marna wala ho
Husband kayo ka muj sa itni bari khushi bardashat nahi ho gi

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
SHADI SE PEHLE

SHADI SE PEHLE

Boy: Aakhir wo din aae ga kb
Girl: tm muje chor to nhi doge
Boy: no way esa sochna b mat
Girl: Roz shoping kraogy
Boy: Q Nhi, Bahot Sari
Girl: tmhari zindgi me koi or to nhi?
Boy: no yar
Girl: do u love me.
Boy: yes dear.
Girl: oh dear!

SHADI K BAAD -

Ab zra ye sms neechey se ooper
prhen

by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)
Boy: Muj se Shadi karo gi?

Boy: Muj se Shadi karo gi?
Girl: Nahi Boy: Q Nahi?
Girl: Ghar Wale Nahi Many gy!
Boy: Ghar me Kon Kon hy?
Girl: 1 Husband or 4 Bache.
Boy. Thek ha baji.

by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)
Shadi me Joota chhupai ke time

Shadi me Joota chhupai ke time dulhe ki 1sali boli-
Mein to 1100 Lungi
2nd sali- Mein to 2100 Lungi
piche se
Santa bola: 2310 Lelo Usme Bluetooth aur FM bhi he

by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)
Ek Banda Konay MeiN Chhup K Mobile Pe

Ek Banda Konay MeiN Chhup K Mobile Pe Baat Kar Raha Tha

Dost: Yaara! LaRki Se Baat Kar Rahay Ho?

Banda: Yaara! Khuda Ka Qasam LaRki NahiN, Mangetar Hai.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Aik Sardar Apnae Marriage

Aik Sardar Apnae Marriage Certificate ku 1 hour sae Dekh raha tha.
Begam Ai Booli, Tusi inni Dair Say Kia Dekh Rahe Hu?
Sardar Bola, Expiry Date Dekh raha hoon......

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)

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