Celebrities; 371 Jokes

1000 ka note

Aaj Maine ek Jaan Bachai,Pucho Kaise?
Ek Bhikhari Ko Maine Pucha
1000 Ka Note Du To Kya Karega?
Wo Bola-Khushi Se Mar Jauga!
To maine use paise nahi diye..!

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
AV lagvaya

GOLU Ne A.C Lgwaya
MOLU-Apko To Sardi Bahut Lagti He?
GOLU-Oye Mene Ulta Lgwaya He
Garam Hwa Andar Or Thndi Hawa Bahar Jati Hai

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Millions dollars

It's million dollar saying that jo hase unke ghar
base
But the million dollar Question is Ghar basane ke
bad kitne Hase

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Asi koi romantic baat

Darling Aaj aisi koi romantic
Premi:-darling,aaj aisi koi romantic baat karo jisse
mere pair zameen per na rahe.
Premika:-to aap faansi kyon nahin laga lete?

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Shadi se pehle pregnant

Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?
A. jab koi ladki shaadi se pehle pregnant ho jaye,
aur uski maa
Kahe “hey bhagwan ye tune kya kiya”.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Shadi ker leni chahye

Santa ki girlfriend: Ab hame jaldi shaadi kar leni
chahiye.
Santa: achcha... lekin hame shaadi karega koun?

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Movie dehkne

Santa: kahaa gayaa thaa yaar?
Banta: girlfriend ke saath movie dekhne
Santa: kitna kharchaa huaa?
Banta: 500 Rs
Santa: itnaa huaa kya?
Banta: kya karu? uske paas itnaa hee thaa yaar

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
500 ka note mila

Santa aur banta ko 500 ka ek note milaa.
Santa: hum ise 50-50 karlenge
Banta: baaki 400 kaa kya karoge?

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Bina interst ke loan

Manager: hamaare bank mein hum aapko binaa
interest ke loan denge.
customer: arey, jab dena hai to thoda haste haste
dona. agar dene mein interest nahi hai, to mat do

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
10 rupiya

Beggar: 10 rupaiya dedo saab. girlfriend ko phone
karni hai.
Saab ka girlfriend: dekho, bhikaari bhi apni
girlfriend ko kitna pyar karta hai.
Beggar: nahi memsaab, use pyar karne ke baad hee
main bhikaari ban gayaa

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Shadi main khana khane

Shadi main Khana khany k 2 usool.
Rule 1:
Pehli baar is tarha khao k dosri baar nahi milega.
Rule 2:
Doosri baar is tarha khao k pehli bar mila he nahi.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Peda hota hai

Santa: Hamare Desh Ki Aausat Mrityu Dar Kya H?
Banta: 100%.
Santa: Kaise?
Banta: Jo Paida Hota H, Wo Mar Hi Jata H.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Santa opened a petrol pump

Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one
customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Buy this scooty

Manager: When do u buy this scooty.
Staff: Yesterday when I was standing in the bus
station at night a girl came in scooty,
stopped in front of me and said sit and took me in
the dark place where she took of her clothes and
said take whatever u want.
I took the scooty what can I do with her clothes.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
BIKE zarur dilaunga

Dad : Ess Baar exam me paas ho ya fail BIKE zarur dilaunga.
Son : Kaunsi bike?
Dad : Pass he to “APACHE”
college jane ke liye.
Fail hue to “RAJDOOT” dood bechne ke liye

by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)

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