School and College; 1241 Jokes
PUPIL: I plan to do absolutely nothing for the next three months.
TEACHER: That should be easy You've had nine months of practice doing that in school.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do." The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?" The little girl replied, "My homework."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. So she said, "if you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?" "Somebody else's pants."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
The teacher came up with a good problem. "Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?"
"None," answered little Norman. "None? Norman, you don't know your arithmetic." "Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home.
"The only consolation I can find in these awful grades," lamented the father, "is that I know he never cheated during his exams."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic lecturer.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the lecturer with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"
Student: "It's 42!"
Teacher: "Very good! - And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?"
Show Punchline
Same Student: "It's 24!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
The teacher of the school geography class was lecturing on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked:
"Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...?"
After a confused silence, little Johnny volunteered - "I guess you'd be eating alone!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
TEACHER TO AMY: Amy, write a sentence with the word
"lettuce" in it.Amy writes something.
TEACHER TO AMY: What've you written down, Amy?
Amy hands the teacher her book.Show Punchline
Amy has written: LETTUCE OUT OF SCHOOL EARLY.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: Four beautiful girls are walking on the road.
Change it to exclamatory sentence.
Student: WOW !
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl .
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Parents are funny They want me to learn how to survive in the wilderness,
but they won't let me go to the mall on my own.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
I went to camp this summer and saw a lot of wild animals.
In fact, several of them were my cabin mates.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
I slept under the stars for the first time this summer.
We didn't go camping; we had our roof repaired.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
On a trip to the art gallery, a teacher was annoyed to see a boy slapping a statue. He marched over and demanded,
Why are you slapping that statue?'
'Because the gallery attendant told me to beat it,' replied the boy.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)