School and College; 1241 Jokes
A teacher asked student, What is the full form of Maths?
The student answered, 'Mentaly Affected Teachers Harrasing Students'
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: Apka beta cigarate peeta hai. Aap kabhi use puchhte nahi?
Santa: Haan, puchhta hoon, par mujhe kabhi deta hi nahi.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Chintoo : Aaj maine apni class mein sabse pyaari larki ko phansa li..
Friend : Woh kaisey?
Chintoo : “Class lagi thi.. Maine kaghaz ka jahaz bana ke Phainka. Jahaza teacher ke pass chala gaya. Uss ne ghusey se poocha yeh kiss ne phainka? Maine us larki ka naam le liya aur who phans gaye bichari.”
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: Tum school kyun aate ho?
Student: Vidya ke liye sir!
Teacher: Phir tum class mein soo kyun rahe ho?
Student: Aaj Vidya nahi aayi hai isliye sir!!!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: U idiots! At your age Einstein ranked first in class.
What about you?
Student: Sir at your age Hitler committed suicide..!
What about you?
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher to Santa: is line ki english banao,
usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan…
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher:Bachon wada kro kabhi sharab,cigrette nahi piyo ge
Bachey:Nahi piyenge
Teacher:Girls ka peecha nai karoge
Bachey:Nahi karenge
Teacher:Unn par awaaze nai kaso ge
Bachey: nahi kasenge
Teacher:Watan par zindigi qurbaan karo ge
Bachey:Kardenge,aesi zindigi ka karna bhi kya hai..
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," said the sarcastic lecturer.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.
"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the lecturer with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
PRINCIPAL : Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI : Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes.
15 minutes looking for assignment.
11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment.
23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children.
8 minutes in the bathroom.
10 minutes getting a snack.
7 minutes checking the TV Guide.
6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment.
10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: Bijli kahan se atti hei???
Student: Mere mamu k ghar se!!!!
Teacher: Wo kase?!!!!!!
Stdnt: Jab bijili jati ha tu papa kehty hen
''Salon ne phir bijli band kar di........'''''
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Gowa ka master ji bacho ku english parha raha tha-----
Bacho ye ,, 'M',, hai .
M' say mother--maa--jaisay sheeday ki maa----
Dosray din master ji nay board pay 'W' likha-- bacho ye kia hai??
aik bacha bola-----sir---hai tu ye sheeday ki maa --par aj is ki taangay oopar hain...
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: What will you do once you are old enough?
Student: Marriage
Teacher: I mean, what you want to be?
Student: Bridegroom
Teacher: I wanted to know what do you want to get?
Student: Bride
Teacher: Idiot, what do you want to do for your parents?
Student: Get a daughter-in-law
Teacher: Stupid, what do your parents want from you?
Student: Grandson
Teacher: Dumaass, what is your goal in life?
Student: We two, our two!!
by Hina Ali (few years ago!)
'I'm not going to school today,' Alexander said to his mother. 'The teachers bully me and the boys in my class don't like me.' 'Why ?' 'Firstly, you're 35 years old. Secondly, you're the principal.'
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)