School and College; 1241 Jokes
Boy to Friend: I'm sorry, I won't be able to go out after school. I promised Dad that I would stay in and help him with my homework.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
The teacher was reviewing counting with her first-grade class.
"Jackie," she asked, "can you count to 10 without mistakes?" "Yes," said Jackie, and she did. "Now, Fred," said the teacher, "can you count from 10 to 20?" "That depends," said Fred, "with or without mistakes"!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the high school intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing."
Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the twelve hundred students who went to move 26 cars, return to class."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to the local police station, where they saw pictures of the 10 Most Wanted men tacked to a bulletin board.
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want him very badly."
So Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A teacher had a 5-year-old come up to her and say that he had found a frog.
The teacher asked, "Is the frog alive or dead?" The student replied, "It's dead."
The teacher asked, "How do you know for sure?"
The boy said, "I pissed in its ear."
Aghast, the teacher said, "You did what?"
He said, "You know, I went to his ear and said, Psst and it didn't move. So, it must be dead."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"
"How much for a season pass?"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A heavy snowstorm closed the schools in one town. When the children returned to school a few days later, one grade school teacher asked her students
whether they had used the time away from school constructively.
"I sure did, teacher," one little girl replied. "I just prayed for more snow."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Johnny: "It's a family tradition".
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Johnny: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher: "What about your mother?" Johnny: "She's a woman..."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher : you are late today,
school 7 baje lag jata hai or tum ab aa rahe ho???
Student : sir aap meri fikar na kiya kare
aap school shuru karwa diya kare.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Chiman:Aap kitna padhe ho?
Friend: B.A.
Chiman: kamal karte ho yaar sirf do word padhe aur woh bhi ulte.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, “and why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”
Little Johnny replied, “Because we must not disturb people while sleeping.”
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: U idiots! At your age Einstein ranked first in class.
What about you?
Student: Sir at your age Hitler committed suicide..!
What about you?
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
I'm going to spend my vacation reviewing everything I learned at school.
Really? What are you going to do the second day?
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
PUPIL: Teacher, it's the last day of school. This is the day I've been dreaming about for a long time.
TEACHER: I know You did a lot of that dreaming in class.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Summer vacation is tough.
We only have three months to forget what it took us nine months of school to learn.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)