School and College; 1241 Jokes
Did you go on your school trip today? Yes.
Which was the best bit?
Going home.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A class went on a school trip to Rome. On the Sunday they all went to church and when they came out the teacher said, `I hope you all behaved.' .
Oh, yes, sir,' said one girl. `A kind man offered me a plate full of money but I said, "no thanks".
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A teacher took her class on a nature trail through the woods. She stopped by a tree and said, `Brian, can you tell me what the outer part of a tree is called?'
I don't know, sir,' said Brian.
Bark, boy, bark!' said the teacher.
OK, sir,' said Brian. `Woof! Woof!'
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Fred had been on a camping trip for a few days.
Did your tent leak?' asked his dad when he returned.
Only when it rained,' said Fred.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
One day a kid goes to the teacher and says
KID: "Miss Can I Go To The Toilet"
TEACHER: "Yes but first you have to say the alphabet"
So He Says the alphabet.
KID: "A b c d e f g h i j k l m n o _ q r s t u v w x y z"
TEACHER: "Wheres The P"
KID: "Its Running down my leg miss"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: Why were you late?
Pupil: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.
Teacher: You mean you need to sleep at home too?!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?
Pupil: No teacher, I'm having trouble listening!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: When you yawn, you're supposed to put your hand to your mouth!
Pupil: What, and get bitten?
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today.
School Secretary: Who is this?
Pupil: This is my father speaking!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Father: I hear you skipped school to play football.
Son: No I didn't, and I have the fish to prove it!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Son: I can't go to school today.
Father: Why not?
Son: I don't feel well
Father: Where don't you feel well?
Son: In school !
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher: Why didn't you answer me?
Pupil: I did; I shook my head.
Teacher: You don't expect me to hear it rattling from here, do you?!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Our teacher talks to herself; does yours?
Yes, but she doesn't realize it; she thinks we're actually listening!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael. He's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)