Search Results for 'Doctor'

Heart Transplant

A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two
white coated doctors searching through the flower
beds.
"Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?"
"No," replied one of the doctors. "We're doing a
heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and
want to find a suitable stone."

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Swallowed

Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow.
Doctor: How do you feel?
Patient: A little down in the mouth.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A Doctor

A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is
several times more per hour then we get paid for
medical care."
"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same
model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have
to keep up to date with new models coming every
month."

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Bad temper problem

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such
a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with
people.
Doctor: Tell me about your problem.
Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid fool!!

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
What is your problem?

Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that
nobody can hear what I say.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Great health

Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be
eighty.
Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.
Doctor: See, what did I tell you.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Dobyou have a problem

A patient came to his dentist with problems with
his teeth.
Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?
Dentist: Wear a brown tie!

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Can I play

A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a
hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both
of his hands.
"Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically
holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able
to play the piano when these bandages come off?"
"I don't see why not," replies the doctor.
"That's funny," says the man. "I wasn't able to
play it before.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Temper problem

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such
a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with
people.
Doctor: Tell me about your problem.
Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid fool!

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Complaining

A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is
several times more per hour then we get paid for
medical care."
"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same
model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have
to keep up to date with new models coming every
month."

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
take patient

Doctor: Did you take the patient's temperature?
Nurse: No. Is it missing?

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Munna or chinkie

Raat ka time jab Munna aur Chinkie apnay bed
room mien so rahay thay to phone ki ghanti baji.
Voice: Aray doctor sahab jaldi aayeay! Meray betay
nay blade kha liya hai.
Munna abhi jaanay k liye tayyar hi hota k dobara
phone aata hai.
Voice: Doctor Sahab! Aab aanay ki koi zaroorat
nahi, meray husband ko shave k liye doosra blade
mil gaya

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Nomonia ho gaya

Patient: Doctor ap ko yakeen hai k mujhay
Namoonia (pneumonia) hai, kyun k pichlay dino aik
doctor meri friend ka Namoonia ka ilaaj karta raha
aur woh Typhoid say mar gayi.
Munna: Haan ray meray ko akha yaqeen hai, tu
namoonia say hi maray ga.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
khod hi nakal leta

pathan martee waqt doctor se
pathan :doctor sahim mere marne ke bad mera dimagh kisi ko de dena
doc:tom be fikar hoke mar jao agar hota me khod hi nakal leta

by Abdul Hannan (few years ago!)
Mobile pe snake wala.

Pathan DR apne kaha tha k subha uth k

koi game kehlne se sehat achi rhti hai

Pr mughe koi farq nhi para.

Doctor:Konsa game khelte the???

Pathan:Mobile pe snake wala...

by Abdul Hannan (few years ago!)
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