Shaadi Jokes
American: Hamare yahan shaadi e-mail se bhi hoti hai.
Laloo: Kamal hai hamare yahan to shaadi sirf female se hoti hai.
by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!) / 547 views
Similar Jokes
Marte sharabi se Bhagwaan ne poocha :- Koi antim ichha ?
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Sharabi :- Agle janam me daant bhale hi ek dena ,
par liver 31 dena , Prabhu ...
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Munnabhai: Aey circuit note ke upar ke gandhiji hamesha muskurate hue kyun rehte hai?
Circuit: Kyuki agar woh roo pade to note bheeg jayenge.
by Abdul Hannan (few years ago!)
As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision
VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"
"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."
"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"
"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation
Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill
While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.
Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up
Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Pathan or Gadhay me 3 batain comon hen
Bachpan main dono khubsurat hotay hen
Bachpan se hi mehnati hote hen
Baray ho kr dono transporter ban jate hain
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Grandpa: Teri Teachr aa rahi hai.Ja chup jaa. Grandson: Pehle aap chup jao. Aapki maut ke bahane maine do hafton ka leave le rakha hai.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
1 Aadmi ne 1 Udas Pathan se Pocha: Khan Sahab tum Q Udas ho?
Pathan: Aaj Hum ko N.W.F.P ka Matlab Pata Chal Gaya
Admi: Wo Kya?
Pathan: "No Women For Pathan".
by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
Pagal Dentist Se:
Kia Dard K Baghair Daant Nikaal Letey Ho?
Dr: Nahi.
Pagal: Me To Nikal Leta Hun.
Dr: Wo Kese?
Pagal: Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee…..:-p
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
Ek Pathan Ne Apni Qaza Namaaz Ada Karne Ka Socha:
Namaz Se Pehle Oonchi Aawaz Main Niyat Ki...
2 Rakat Namaz Fajar Qaza, 4 November 1996. Allah-o-Akbar
by Abdul Hannan (few years ago!)
Ek Baar Santa Galti Se Talaab Mein Gir Gaya,
Dubte Dubte Uske Haath Mein Ek Machli Aa Gayi,
Usse Pakad Kar Bahar Fenka Aur Bola: “Tu Toh Kam Se Kam Apni Jaan Bacha Le“
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Tm Ussay Debug Karnaa
Wait Mein Karoongah
Tmhaara Intezaar Karte Kartay
Main So Gaya Yeah Dekho Mera Connection
Time Out
Hou Gayaa.
by @irha@ (few years ago!)