As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision

VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"

"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation

Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill

While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.

Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up

Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 692 views

Ek budiya cinema hall me cold

Ek budiya cinema hall me cold drink ki bottle leke baithi thi,
Kabhi 15 mint me ghunt leti to kabhi 20 mint me,
Pass bethe sardar ko gussa aa gaya,
usne botal uthai aur puri ek ghut me pi gaya aur bola:-Aise pi jata he cold drink.
Budhiya boli:Beta me to pan ki pichkari thuk rahi thi

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)

woh bola Tumhari Bhabhi.

Pathan ne apni Bhabhi ka Murder kar diya:
Police: Murder kyon kya?

Pathan: Mere dost k paas call aai woh hans hans k baaten kar raha tha.
Maine pucha kon hai? woh bola Tumhari Bhabhi.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)

Sardar boarded a bus on 1st April

Sardar boarded a bus on 1st April
when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/-
and took the ticket and said April fool.
I have pass.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Yesterday-Night I Saw A Dream

Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream
That u were sending me
Jewelery and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw
your dad paying the bill !!!

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Sirf Ye Na Socho K v

Sirf Ye Na Socho K Har Guzrta Din
Mout Ki Taraf Jata Ha.
Balkay Ye Bhi Socho K,
Har Guzrta Din Shadi K Din Ko Qarib Lata Ha.
.(‘,’)>
<)(
_//_ O Teri Khair
Ye Tou Menay Socha Hi Nahi :-P
Hat Ja Yar Tayari Karnay Day.

by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)