Search Results for 'HEAD'
Police Man: Stop, Stop, Tumhari Headlights kaam
Nahi kar rahi,
Woh bandh hai.
Santa: Jaldi Se Hat Jao! Brakes Bhi Kaam Nahi Kar
Rahe Hain. :-)
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Teacher: Why didn't you answer me?
Pupil: I did; I shook my head.
Teacher: You don't expect me to hear it rattling
from here, do you?!
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Patient: Doctor, what does the X-ray of my head
show?
Doctor: Absolutely nothing!
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of
the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now,
class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you
know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the
face."
"Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I
am standing upright in the ordinary positions the
blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Because your feet aren't
empty."
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.
Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."
"Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanks giving Day?"
by Abdul Hannan (few years ago!)
A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says "oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?"
The blonde replies "Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex."
The man responds "Huh.. that's interesting.. why did you name them such names?"
The blonde sighs and shakes her head "Everyone keeps asking me the same thing... duhh, what else can you name your watch dogs??"
by Kamran (few years ago!)
A blonde goes into a computer store and asks the clerk "Where do you keep the curtains for computers?" The clerk answers with a puzzled face "Curtains for computers? You don't need curtains for computers." The blonde's eyes widen and she shakes her head as she answers "Hello!?? My computer has Windows!!"
by Kamran (few years ago!)
Q: Why does a cement wall break to pieces when a blonde hits it with their head?
A: The smartest one gives up first.
by Kamran (few years ago!)
A blond is walking on the street when she suddenly falls inside an uncovered manhole.
She swears her way back up the ladder and manages to crawl all the way up, her clothes getting all torn up in the process.
When she gets back to the top she wipes off the sweat from her forehead and says "Thank God the hole wasn't covered, or I would've never made it out!"
by Kamran (few years ago!)
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, “What are you doing?!!” The blind man replies, “Just looking around.”‘
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, "I'll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk."
Bartender: "Yeah! Sure...go ahead."
Man: "What covers a house?"
Dog: "Roof!"
Man: "How does sandpaper feel?"
Dog: "Rough!"
Man: "Who was the greatest ball player of all time?"
Dog: "Ruth!"
Man: "Pay up. I told you he could talk."
The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says, "or is the greatest player Mantle?"
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A blonde's redhead decides to show her a neat way to trick people -- you put your hand on a wall and ask someone to punch it. But before they do, you pull your hand away!
"That is a neat trick," thinks the blonde, and tries desperately to remember it, but isn't all too successful. Despite this, she decides to try it out on her blonde friend.
"Okay," she says, "I'm going to put my hand in front of my face..."
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
One day a blonde was horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started going too fast and bouncing out of control. The blonde tried with all her might to hang on, but soon was thrown off.
With her foot caught in the stirrup, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce on the ground as the horse would not stop or even slow down. Just as the blonde was about to give up hope and was losing consciousness...
The K-Mart manager came out and unplugged the horse.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them."
A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them."
A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."
by Abdul Sami (few years ago!)