Search Results for 'Student'

Germs

Teacher: What are the people of Turkey called?

Student: I don't know.

Teacher: They are called Turks, now What are the people of Germany called?

Student: They are called Germs.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher Joke

Teacher : Correct the sentence, “A bull and a cow is grazing in the field”

Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field

Teacher : Why?
Student : Ladies first.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
The sleeping student

Teacher: Why were you late?

Pupil: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.

Teacher: You mean you need to sleep at home too?!

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Student's memory loss

I didn't do my homework because I lost my memory.

When did this start?

When did what start?

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
College student

How was your blind date ? " a college student asked her roommate.

" Terrible ! " the roommate answered. " He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce".

" Wow! That's a very expensive car. What 's so bad
about that ? "

"He was the original owner."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
The polish student

A Polish student was in his college
campus bookstore.

Questioning the store clerk about a book for one of his classes, the clerk responded, "This book will do half the job for you."

"Good," the Polack replied, "I'll take two."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Anything

A beautiful female college student comes to a young professor’s office.

She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly, “I would do anything to pass this exam.”

She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. “I mean…” she whispers, “… I would do…anything!!!”

He returns her gaze. “Anything???”

“Yes… Anything!!!”

His voice turns to a whisper. “Would you….. study???”.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Are Computers Male or Female?

A foreign language teacher was explaining to her class that, unlike their English counterparts, French nouns are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral. Confused, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?"

The French teacher wasn't sure which gender it was, so she ivided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was comprised of the women in the class, and the other of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Defining Teenagers

A Teenager is...

A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.

A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.

A youngster who receives his/her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows from his/her best friend on Wednesday.

Someone who can hear a song by Madonna played three blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.

A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't make a bed.

A student who will spend 12 minutes studying for her history exam and 12 hours for her driver's license.

A youngster who is well informed about anything he doesn't have to study.

An enthusiast who has the energy to ride a bike for miles, but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.

A connoisseur of two kinds of fine music: Loud and Very Loud.

A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates her brother.

A person who is always late for dinner but always on time for a rock concert.

A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.

A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.

A boy who can sleep until noon on any Saturday when he suspects the lawn needs mowing.

An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Sweep The Floor

Your first job will be to sweep the floor.

But I'm a college student the young man replied.

In that case give me the broom - I'll show you how.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Philosophy Exam

A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.

On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question?" - Discuss.

After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer."

The student received an "A" on the exam.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Great School Humor

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

Groucho Marx

1890-1977

This reminds me of the student who began his Middle Ages story with:

"He was a dark and stormy knight...."

In a survey taken several years ago, all incoming freshman at MIT were asked if they expected to graduate in the top half of their class.

Ninety-seven percent responded that they did.

Q: What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

A: The teacher says "Get that gum out of your mouth", where as the train says "Chew, Chew ".

"The reason that every major university maintains a department of mathematics is that it is cheaper to do this than to institutionalize all those people."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Geography Class

Teacher: What is the axis of the earth?

Student: The axis of the earth is an imaginary line which passes from one pole to the other, and on which the earth revolves.

Teacher: Very good. Now, could you hang clothes on that line?

Student: Yes, Sir.

Teacher: Indeed, and what sort of clothes?

Student: Imaginary clothes, Sir.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Discussing Grades

A high-school student came home from school seeming rather depressed.

"What's the matter, son," asked his mother.

"Aw, gee," said the boy, "It's my marks. They're all wet."

"What do you mean `all wet?'"

"I mean," he replied, "below C-level."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A Young Naval Student

A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain.
"What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?"
"Throw out an anchor, sir," the student replied.
"What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"
"Throw out another anchor, sir."
"And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do then?" asked the captain.
"Throw out another anchor, sir."
"Hold on," said the captain. "Where are you getting all those anchors from?"

"From the same place you're getting your storms, sir."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)