Childrens; 368 Jokes

How can i get to heaven?

I asked the children in my Sunday School class, "If I sold my house and my car, held a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would I get into heaven?"

"No!" the children all answered.

Then I said, "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"

Again, the answer was, "No!"

"Well," I continued, "then how can I get to heaven?"

A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Harold's answer

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD : A teacher.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Germs

Teacher: What are the people of Turkey called?

Student: I don't know.

Teacher: They are called Turks, now What are the people of Germany called?

Student: They are called Germs.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Zookeeper and three boys

A zookeeper approaches three boys standing near the lions' cage and asks them their names and what they're up to.
The first boy says, "My name's Tommy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions."

The second boy says, "My name's Billy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions."

The third boy says, "My name is Peanuts."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Frog learning foreign language.

Teacher: Why did the frog say meow?

Pupil: He was learning a foreign language.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Plural of baby

TEACHER: What is the plural of mouse ?
Pupil: Mice

TEACHER: Good, now what's the plural of baby ?
Pupil: Twins !

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher Joke

Teacher : Correct the sentence, “A bull and a cow is grazing in the field”

Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field

Teacher : Why?
Student : Ladies first.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
At Once

TEACHER: What's the longest word in the English language ?

Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters !

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Reply to granny

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

A little boy wrote this letter to his grandmother:

Dear Grandmother,

I'm sorry I forgot your birthday last week. It would serve me right if you forgot mine next Tuesday.

With love, Mike

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A history joke

Why aren't you doing very well in history?

Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
An ideal homework excuse....

Teacher: Where is your homework?

Pupil: Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Kill One....

Bin Laden's son was studing in an American school.

Teacher asked him, " I have 4 apples, how can I share it among 5 children"

He answerd, "KILL ONE"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A little girl had just....

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother.

"I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
What's the matter?

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the woman's locker room.

When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.

The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
My 4 year old son

My 4 year old son came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.

So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.

He stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush.

He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

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