Search Results for 'account'
After 2 Year Of Married Life, Some Examples How Wives Fight With Their Husbands….
Accountant Wife: Apne Hisab Se Raho Samjhe,
Share Broker Wife: Jyada Bola Na Toh Sauda Kar Dungi Loss Mein,
Orthopedic Doctor Wife: Kam Bolo, Haddiyan Tod Dungi,
Piolet Wife: Aaj Kal Jyada Hee Hawa Mein Udd Rahey Ho, Zameen Par Laau Kya Abhi,
History Teacher Wife: Mujhe Jyada Itihaas Mat Sikhao Samjhe,
Software Engineer Wife: Abey Pehle Bug Toh Nikal Le, Baad Mein Bahas Karna…
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A funny accountant visits a museum with a Sardar Ji.
Accountant: This painting is 500 years and 20 days old.
Sardar: Amazing! Where did you get this exact information?
Accountant: I was here 20 days ago. The guide told me that the painting was 500 years old.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
THIS IS A CLASSIC ::
Santa ne facebook pe apna account banaya
aur apni WALL pe likha :
“Yaha thukna mana hai”
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
HIS IS A CLASSIC ::
Santa ne facebook pe apna account banaya
aur apni WALL pe likha :
“Yaha thukna mana hai”
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him. Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank’s slogan was: We make your dreams come true…
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Santa joins as accountant
Wo Pen ke sath scissors bhi le jata hai pucha kyon
Santa: Mujhe Cheque bhi to Katane hai
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Ek Pathan Bank Lootne Gaya wahan gun dikha kar sara Paisa loot liya.
Per us k hath kuch nahi aaya.
Kyon?
Q k sare paise usne manager ko diye aur kaha: "Sare paise mere account main jama kar do.
by Abdul Hannan (few years ago!)
Ek Phatan bank lootne gaya wahan gun dikha kar sara Paisa loot liya.
Per us k hath kuch nahi aaya.
Kyon?
...
Q k sare paise usne manager ko diye aur kaha: "Sare paise mere account mein jama kar do.
by Abdul Hannan (few years ago!)
A jutt in Karachi went to bank for opening an account. he took one form and went to Islamabad.
do u know why? Because in the form he read!
"write in capital"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Some surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work. The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to opperate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless spineless, gutless, and their heads and ass are interchangable."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . .
"Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ... After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead." -- Miss Piggy
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." --Sam Levinson
"This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them." -- Gracie Allen
"I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." -- Erma Bombeck
"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster." -- Joe E. Lewis
"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead." -- Woody Allen
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." -- Fran Lebowitz
"Health food makes me sick." -- Calvin Trillin
"Watermelon -- it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face." -- Enrico Caruso
"Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get." -- Robert Orben
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points.
After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center's director that he was an acceptable candidate.
"That's great!" the executive said. "But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive."
"Yes, sir, it can," the director replied. "An ounce of accountant's brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an economist's brain costs two thousand; an ounce of a corporate president's is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a Democrat's brain is seventy-five thousand dollars."
"Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a Democrat's brain? Why on earth is that?"
"Do you have any idea," the director asked, "how many Democrats we would have to kill?"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
This is an actual account by a worker at a technical support and service center. One particular customer had an old console-type machine with a print head that would ride back and forth on a spiral shaft. They also had a big bushy cat who liked to sit on the edge of the printer next to the operator.
Well, one day we got a service call that said, "Cat caught in machine, come quick!"
When I arrived I saw everyone sitting around mending their various wounds, scratches and contusions. No sight of the cat. It appears that while they were running the machine the cat was twirling his tail in his usual fashion and stuck it down into the printer at the most inopportune time and got sucked in! Apparently, the cat absolutely freaked out and clawed at everyone who came close. They finally freed the cat, and to this day, the cat goes nowhere near the machine.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)