Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . .

"Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ... After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead." -- Miss Piggy

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." --Sam Levinson

"This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them." -- Gracie Allen

"I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." -- Erma Bombeck

"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster." -- Joe E. Lewis

"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead." -- Woody Allen

"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." -- Fran Lebowitz

"Health food makes me sick." -- Calvin Trillin

"Watermelon -- it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face." -- Enrico Caruso

"Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get." -- Robert Orben

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 958 views

Zindagi mai kuch

Zindagi mai kuch sapny saja lena,

Dil mai kuch arman jaga lena,

Hum aap ki raahon se her dard chura lenge,

Jab chaho hum se Disprin
mangwa lena….

by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)

Late Q Aaye Ho

PrincipaL=
Late Q Aaye Ho?
Pappu=
Bike Bigad Gyi Thi Sir
PrincipL=
Bus Me nhi Aa Sakte?
Pappu=
Maine Bola Sir
Par Apki Beti Nhi Mani.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

wife to doctor

Wife to doc: Doc, I think my husband has a fearful disease.I talk to him for hours and he doesn’t hear a word I say.

Doc:That’s not a disease, its a gift!

by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)

Hamaare bank mein hum

Manager: hamaare bank mein hum aapko binaa interest ke loan denge.
customer: arey, jab dena hai to thoda haste haste dona. agar dene mein interest nahi hai, to mat do

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Oxford Ka Matlab Kya Hai

Short Man: Mr Funny, bole to yeh Ford kya hai?

Mr Funny: Bhai, gaadi hai.
Short: Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?

Mr Funny: Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)