Food Quotes And Quips
Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . .
"Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ... After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead." -- Miss Piggy
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." --Sam Levinson
"This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them." -- Gracie Allen
"I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." -- Erma Bombeck
"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster." -- Joe E. Lewis
"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead." -- Woody Allen
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." -- Fran Lebowitz
"Health food makes me sick." -- Calvin Trillin
"Watermelon -- it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face." -- Enrico Caruso
"Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get." -- Robert Orben
by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 671 views
Similar Jokes
Baba Saxidas Ji Ke Pass Unki Ek Nayi Nayi Bani Bhakt Ladki Jiska Naam Rashii Thha Aayi Aur Pucha.
Rashii: “Baba Ji, Ye Aajkal Ladke Log Mandir Jyada Kyu Jane Lag Gaye Hai?”
Baba Saxidas Ji Muskuraye Aur Bade Pyar Se Ladki Ko Samjhaya.
Baba Ji: “Beta, Kyunki Vo Hi Ek Aisi Jagha Hai Jaha Pooja, Shanti, Aarti, Bhawna, Shardha, Archna, Jyoti, Aradhana, Tripti Aur Mukti Milti Hai“
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Wifes insulting their husbands:
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Pilot’s BV -ziyada uro mt, samjhe…?
Teacher’s BV – Mujhe mt sikhao samjhe…?
Dentist’s BV – Daant tod k hath mei de dungi…!
Docter’s BV – tabiyat durust kr doungi…!
MBA’S BV – Mind Yr own Business pls…!
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CA/ACMA Candidate’s BV-
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Abay phle paas toh ho phir baat karna
by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
Dunya main woh kon si 2 cheezen hain jo ek doosray k baghair nahi reh saktin? Aur dono bekaar hain?
Socho
Aur Socho
Pathan aur Naswaar.
by Abdul Hannan (few years ago!)
Three students coming out from examination hall
1st: I did not know the answer of single question
I have left the paper blank
2nd: I too
3rd: O shit
We all will fail
Teacher will say that we cheated in paper
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
English To Urdu
Dictionary :
Xcuse Me =
Sun Chutiye ,
Stupid =
Abe Gando ,
Get Out =
Nikal Bhosri K ,
I M In Problem =
Yaar Loray Lag Gaye ,
I Am Scared =
Gaand Phati Hoi Hai Yaar ,
Where Ar You =
Abbey Kahan Maa Chuda Raha Hai ,
Would U Like To Have This =
Lega Loru ?
Not Possible
Chal Bhosri Ke !
( Urri. Baba )
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
Ak admi bchay sy. . . . . . . . .
“kia tum rat ko dua parh kr soo ty ho????
Bcha: Nahe, mgr meri ma dua parh k sote ha….
Admi:wo kia prte ha???”
Bcha:”Ya Allah tera shukar ha k muna soo gaya. . .
by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
Girlfriend Romantic mood me, Aaj ghar mai koi nahi hai, Aajao
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Sharat :- Tu mere ghar aaja pagli, mere ghar sab log hai
Tera mann laga rahega
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Santa: I gave a moving performance in singing.
Banta: What do you mean by moving performance?
Santa: Everyone moved out of theatre.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Girl : " What do you like in me? "
Boy : " those 2 big white balls having black dots in it.."
Girl : " what??? "
Boy : " yes, your eyes.."
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
ZindaGi me aGar kuch krna hy to aisa kr JaO
k jis Gali se B GuzrO
har ghar se tumhe pukara Jaye
"O HERO"
Yahan se Bhe KACHRA Utha le..
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)