Food Quotes And Quips
Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . .
"Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ... After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead." -- Miss Piggy
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." --Sam Levinson
"This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them." -- Gracie Allen
"I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." -- Erma Bombeck
"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster." -- Joe E. Lewis
"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead." -- Woody Allen
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." -- Fran Lebowitz
"Health food makes me sick." -- Calvin Trillin
"Watermelon -- it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face." -- Enrico Caruso
"Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get." -- Robert Orben
by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 890 views
Similar Jokes
My wife and I were watching some TV show the
other nite where the wife hired a private
detective to follow her husband and see if he were
infact "cheating" on her. I asked my wife if she
would ever do that. She said, "Well not so much to
find out who the other woman was, but to see if I
could find out what she saw in ya."
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A boy has a lot of fun with her girl friend and has
a great time too…
After that he find a boy’s photo in her bag and
replied “Is he your Ex-Boyfriend”
Girl kissed the boy and said “No it’s me before my
surgery”
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Darya k kinare 2 Sardar Chammach se darya me Dahee dal rahe thai.
Pathan ne dekha to pocha:
Khoocha ye kia kar rahe ho?
Sardar: Ham Lasi bana rahe hain.
Pathan: ha ha ha....
O pagal ka Bacha log itna Lassi tumhara Baap Piye ga??...
by Abdul Hannan (few years ago!)
Ek Ladki ne Apna Result Dekha aur boli...
.
Kya?
Mai Fail Ho gayi ..
aur Wo bhi English mein?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
UNPOSSIBLE! :P
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher : you are late today,
school 7 baje lag jata hai or tum ab aa rahe ho???
Student : sir aap meri fikar na kiya kare
aap school shuru karwa diya kare.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Santa : Cheel ko English main Kya Kehte Hain.
Banta : Eagle
Santa : Agar cheel bimar ho jaye to? Banta : Illeagal...
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife.
Two seconds later a report came
to his phone and he started dancing.
The report said, “DELIVERED”.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Sardar Became The Driver Of Train
The Very 1st Train Driven By Him
Was 8 Hours Late Bcoz?
He Stopped At Every Phatak N Askd
“Jalandher Nu Ehi Line Jandi A?”
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Rs. 1000 To Bikhari
Mallika arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting.
Bhikhari: Behanji 1 rupiya dedo. Malika gave him
1000 Rs. Secretary: Why u gave him 1000 Rs..?
Malika: Pehli bar kisine behan kaha!
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
BRITISH: WHY U ALL MUSLIMS R IN DIFFRENT COLOURS? LOOK V R ALL WHITE
DR ALLAMA IQBAL SAID: HORSES R IN DIFFERENT COLOUR BUT ALL DONKEY R SAME.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)