Food Quotes And Quips
Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . .
"Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ... After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead." -- Miss Piggy
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." --Sam Levinson
"This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them." -- Gracie Allen
"I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." -- Erma Bombeck
"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster." -- Joe E. Lewis
"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead." -- Woody Allen
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." -- Fran Lebowitz
"Health food makes me sick." -- Calvin Trillin
"Watermelon -- it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face." -- Enrico Caruso
"Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get." -- Robert Orben
by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 889 views
Similar Jokes
A logical Answer
Teacher:
Tumhare Abu kitne saal k hn?
Bacha:Jitne saal ka mein hon
teacher”Wo kese?
Banta:Jis din me peda hua usi din tou woh abu bny
by Asim Raza (few years ago!)
RAAZ public toilet gya to Diwar p likha tha
"Dunya Chand p pohnch gai
or Tm yha bethe ho?
RAAZ niche likh aaya "Bs Ye kr k Hm b ja rhe he
by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)
A blonde told her doctor that she was really worried because everypart of her body hurt.The Doctor looked concern & said,"show me where."
The Blonde touch her own arm and screamed,"ouch!"she looked at the doctor and said "see?It hurts everywhere!"
The doctor laughed and said ,"Don't worry ;it's not serious.You have just got a broken index finger."
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Banta: Santa, itna udhaas kyu baita hai?
Santa: yaar betting mein maine 2000 gavaa
diyaa :-(
Banta: kaise?
: India pe 1000 rupaiye ka bet lagaaya tha aur
India ne match haar gaya
Banta: lekin 2000 kaise?
Santa: aaj us match ka highlights daale. India pe
ummeed rakh ke phir 1000 dala tha.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Sardar teacher nai exam ke liye Question. Paper banaya..
Paper dekhte hi saare bachche behosh ho gaye ..Question. thy :-
1. China kis Desh me hai ?
... 2. 15 Aug kis Date ko Aati hai ?
3. Green Rang kis Colour ka Hota hai ?
4. Tamatar ko Hindi may kya Bolte hai ?
5. Mumtaz ki Qabar main Kaun Dafan hai ?
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
“Aj Ky Bachay”
Camera Man Studio Mei Chotay Bachay Se:
Meri Traf Deko Beta Es Camere Se Kabootar Niklega
Bacha:
Focus Adjust Kar Beta Jahalat Ki Batain Na Kar
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A Russian visiting Pakistan goes for an eye check-up.
The eye sspecialist shows the letters ‘CWXQSAZ’ to the Russian.
Doctor: Can you read this?
Russian: Read? I even know this guy..!!
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
Sardar ki biv ne rat ka khana road pe laga dia
Sardar ne pocha ye kia kia hai
Bv ap ne kaha tha na k rat ka khana bahar khaen ge
by Sabir shah (few years ago!)
Teacher:
Active voice aur passive voice ka example batao?
Student:
Active voice: Tere mas mast 2 nain merey dil ka lay ga chain
Passive voice: Merey dil ka lay chain tere mast mast 2 nain
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
A Boy Was Going With His Girl Friend
Friend Asked : Who Is She?
Boy : My Cousin.
The Frend Said: Last Year She Was My Cousin.! :D
by Abdul Hannan (few years ago!)