Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . .

"Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ... After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead." -- Miss Piggy

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." --Sam Levinson

"This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them." -- Gracie Allen

"I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." -- Erma Bombeck

"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster." -- Joe E. Lewis

"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead." -- Woody Allen

"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." -- Fran Lebowitz

"Health food makes me sick." -- Calvin Trillin

"Watermelon -- it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face." -- Enrico Caruso

"Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get." -- Robert Orben

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 680 views

Sardar

2 Sardar Watching Match When Dhoni Hits
2 Sardar Watching Match When Dhoni Hits A Boundary

1st- Dekho Dekho Goal Hua.

2nd- Abe Tu Sardar He Rahe Ga
Goal Is Me Nahi Cricket Mein Hota Hai. . .:-)=P

by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)

Santa ye batao tense kitne tarah ke hote hai?

Teacher : Santa ye batao tense kitne tarah ke hote hai?
Santa : Teen maidam.

Teacher : Teeno ke ek-ek example batao.

Santa : Madam, meine kal aapki beti ko dekha tha. Aaj mein ussey pyar karta hu aur kal mein ussey bhaga kar le jaunga.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

1 admi apne dost k Ghr gya,

1 admi apne dost k Ghr gya,
bell bjane pr chota sa Bacha bahr nkla.
Admi:
Beta apky Abu ghr pe hn?
Bcha:
Ji wo to bzar gye hn.
Admi:
Acha apny brray bhai ko bulao.
Bcha:
Wo to cricket khelne gya h.
Admi:
Acha tumhari Ami to ghr pe hi hongi?
Bcha:
Ji wo apni saheliyon k 7 Picnic pr gai hn.
Admi: (gussy se):
To beta aap Ghr me Q bethe ho? Aap b kahin jao.
Bcha:
“Mein B apne dost k Ghr aya hua hun”
Admi: Lakh di Lanat Tere Nikky jay tay.

by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)

Gareeb Ke Paiso Pe Ayashi Karna Galat Hai

Ek Aadmi Aate Jaate Apne Ghar Ke Paas Bethe Bikhari Ko Hamesha Beekh Deke Jaya Karta Tha

Ek Din Bhikhari Ne Aadmi Se Puchha: “Saab, Pehle Aap 10 Rupaye Dete The, Phir 5, Ab 1 Kyun?”

Admi: “Pehle Main Kuwara Tha, Fir Shadi Ki, Ab Bache Hai”

Bhikhari: “Wah Matlab Mere Paison Se Ayashi Ho Rahi Hai“

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Pathan Can Prove Anything

Teacher: Ek Tota Haathi K Uper Betha Aur
Haathi Mar Gaya..
Prove How is This Possible.??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Pathan:
Pehly Haathi Ka Naam Tota Rakho Aur
Totay Ka Naam Hathi,,
,
Then This Is Possible.. ;-) ;-p

Pathan Can Prove Anything :-D

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)