Food Quotes And Quips
Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . .
"Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ... After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead." -- Miss Piggy
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." --Sam Levinson
"This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them." -- Gracie Allen
"I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." -- Erma Bombeck
"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster." -- Joe E. Lewis
"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead." -- Woody Allen
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." -- Fran Lebowitz
"Health food makes me sick." -- Calvin Trillin
"Watermelon -- it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face." -- Enrico Caruso
"Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get." -- Robert Orben
by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 863 views
Similar Jokes
One day a blonde was horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started going too fast and bouncing out of control. The blonde tried with all her might to hang on, but soon was thrown off.
With her foot caught in the stirrup, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce on the ground as the horse would not stop or even slow down. Just as the blonde was about to give up hope and was losing consciousness...
The K-Mart manager came out and unplugged the horse.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Molvi ne Pathan se puchha
Gusal k kitne Farz haiñ?
Pathan. 3
Molvi.. kon kon se?
?
Pathan.
1.sabon
2.shampoo
aur
3.tolya>;-)
by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
Father:
Mere 4 Bachay Hain,
3 Ne MBA Kea Hua Hai Aur 1 Chor Hai
Frnd: Jo Choriyan Karta Ha
Usay Ghar Se Nikaalte Q Nhi Ho?
Father:
Ek Wohi To Kama K Lata Hai..
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Agar Tum Chaho K Tumhary Paas Hamaisha Lougon Ka Hajoom Rahay.
To ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Tou Fruit Ka Thaila Lagana Shuroo Kar Do.
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
Aik Pathan Cycle Sath Lay Kar Bhaga Ja Raha Tha
Rastay May Kisi Nay Kaha K
Khan Sahib Chay To Petay Jao
Khan: Agr Itna Time Hota
To Cycle Pay Na baith Jata
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
5 bachon ki maan tesri shadi kar rahi thi.
Nikah k waqt chota bcha rone laga
or dolah dar k bhag gaya
kiun maan ne kaha chup ho ja warna agli baar sath nai lun gi
by Sabir shah (few years ago!)
Ladka Tum mere sapno me khwabo me jazbato me rahti
ho ladki bhaiya tumko kisi ne bewkoof banaya hai
mai toh haryana mein rahti hoon.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
CIRCUIT : Bhai, Bapu NE bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna
mangta hai.
Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega
Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI : Aye Circuit, who Sunita
ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai. CIRCUIT : Bhai usko bolo apun gaon
gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI : Par Circuit, abhi to TU
bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega. CIRCUIT : Bhai, apun jhoot nehin
bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.
by Rizwan Ajmal (few years ago!)
Foji Prade K Doran Officer Ne Pathan Sipaahi Se Pucha:Ye Haath Main Kya Hai?
Gul Khan:
Sir, Ye Bandooq Hai.
Officer: Ye Bandooq Nahi, Tumhari Jaan Ka Hissa Hai,Tumhari Maa Hai Maa.
Then Officer To 2nd Pathan. Bandooq Ki Taraf Ishara Karte Huye:Ye Kya Hai?
2nd Pathan: Sir, Ye Gul Khan Ki Maa Hai.
by tanveer hussain (few years ago!)
Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho.
Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu.
Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.
Santa: Lekin biwi ko nhi pata
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)