Search Results for '5'

Girls Hostel

PRINCIPAL : Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.

MUNNA BHAI : Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Doctor

Doctor ne marez se kaha.main ek mahn se 50 rope ki rozana dawa kha raha hun lekin muje koi fayda nazar nahi aa raha.

doctor .....acha to main ap ko kal se& 40 rope ki dawai dun ga.jis se ap ko roz ka 10 rope ka fayda& nazar aye ga.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Silent Treatment

A husband and his wife were having problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

The man realized he would have to be woken up at 5:00AM by his wife the next morning, which means he would have to break the silent treatment (and LOSE).

So he decided to write a note to her, and put it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning he woke up to find out it is 9:00AM, he missed his flight!

He started getting up, just to find a note beside his bed that said "Its 5:00AM, you have to get up!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Caller Tone

Man 2 pathan: Khan ji kal mainy apko phone kia par aap ny uthaya nahi?

Pathan:
Kyun uthata..,
Ye jo meiny 5 Rupye dekar GAANAA Lgwaya hai wo tera BAAP sunega

by Hina Ali (few years ago!)
The Homework Schedule

Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes.

15 minutes looking for assignment.

11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment.

23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children.

8 minutes in the bathroom.

10 minutes getting a snack.

7 minutes checking the TV Guide.

6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment.

10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A Man Lost His Life

A man went to police station to report that his wife was lost & missing. There he found another person reporting the same.

The police man asked the person who was there earlier, "How does your wife look like??"

That man replied, "She is a smart, good looking woman, 5 feet 8 inch, 36-28-32, beautiful & attractive body with blonde hairs"

Police man noted down those details and asked the other person, "What does your wife look like?"

He said in excitement, "Forget mine, let's go and find his wife!!!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Training courses For Women

Training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:

Topic 1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before

Topic 2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits

Topic 3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits

Topic 4. Bathroom Etiquette: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too

Topic 5. Communication Skills : Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.

Topic 6. Communication Skills II: Getting What you Want Without Nagging

Topic 7. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire

Topic 8. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up

Topic 9. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Have

Topic 10. Oil and Petrol: Your Car Needs Both

by Hina Ali (few years ago!)
I'm not going to school today

'I'm not going to school today,' Alexander said to his mother. 'The teachers bully me and the boys in my class don't like me.' 'Why ?' 'Firstly, you're 35 years old. Secondly, you're the principal.'

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A teacher had a 5 year old come up to

A teacher had a 5-year-old come up to her and say that he had found a frog.

The teacher asked, "Is the frog alive or dead?" The student replied, "It's dead."

The teacher asked, "How do you know for sure?"

The boy said, "I pissed in its ear."
Aghast, the teacher said, "You did what?"

He said, "You know, I went to his ear and said, Psst and it didn't move. So, it must be dead."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
5 animals living in water

Aman To Chaman: Tell Me 5 Animals Living In Water?

Aman: Chamman: Fish, Chaman: Thik Ha Aur Chaar?

Aman: Fish Ke Brother, Sister Father And Mother

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Aapke Rs 5000 bach gaye....

boy - papa aapne mujhse kaha tha k agar main paas ho gaya to aap mujhe 5000 Rs denge.

father - haan kaha tha

boy - to aapke liye khush khabri hai, aapke 5000 Rs bach gaye.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Poor thief

Ek chor amir aadmi ke ghar mein chori karne gaya. Tijori pe likha tha “Tijori ko todne ki jaroorat nahi hai, 452 number press karke sahmne vala lal batan dabao, tijori khul jayegi. Jaise hi batan daba alarm baja aur police aa gayi.”

Jate jate chor seth se bola: Aaj mera insaaniyat se vishwas uth gaya hai!

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
The die hard fan

There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat.

When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?"

The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan."

The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?"

The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Meet me for lunch

The teacher of the school geography class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked:

"Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...?"

After a confused silence, little Johnny volunteered - "I guess you'd be eating alone!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Kill One....

Bin Laden's son was studing in an American school.

Teacher asked him, " I have 4 apples, how can I share it among 5 children"

He answerd, "KILL ONE"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
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