Dave and Mary
Dave: I got this great new hearing aid the other day.
Mary: Are you wearing it now? Dave: Yup. Cost me four thousand dollars, but it's top of the line.
Mary: Wow! What kind is it?
Dave: Twelve-thirty.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 842 views
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A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
~Conan O'Brien
America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
~Jay Leno
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
~Jay Leno
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree... and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
~Jay Leno (we love Jay)
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
~Jimmy Kimmel
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!
~Jimmy Fallon
After a quick meet-and-greet with King Abdullah, Obama was off to Israel, where he made a quick stop at the manger in Bethlehem where he was born. ~Jon Stewart
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
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~David Letterman
Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
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~David Letterman (Dave's not bad either)
Police in Texas arrested a man who was using the alias 'Barack Obama' while trying to steal money from 35 ATMs. They could tell something was up when a guy named Barack Obama was trying to take money from banks instead of giving it to them. ~Jimmy Fallon
You know, it's hard to believe President Obama has now been in office for a year. Isn't that amazing? It's a year. And you know, it's incredible. He took something that was in terrible, terrible shape, and he brought it back from the brink of disaster: The Republican party. ~Jay Leno
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