Alphabet!
One day a kid goes to the teacher and says
KID: "Miss Can I Go To The Toilet"
TEACHER: "Yes but first you have to say the alphabet"
So He Says the alphabet.
KID: "A b c d e f g h i j k l m n o _ q r s t u v w x y z"
TEACHER: "Wheres The P"
KID: "Its Running down my leg miss"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 654 views
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by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
Ek pathan aur ek Sardar ka interview tha..
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PATHAN se:
Q: Taleem?
Ans:B.A
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Q: Pakistan kb bna?
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Ans:koshish pehle se chal rhi thi pr 1947
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Q: Pakistan ka pm kon hy?
Ans: buht ae gae lekn ab geelani shab..
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SARDAR ye sub sun raha tha usne teno ans yaad krlie
1- B.A,
2- 1947,
3- Geelani
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ab SARDAR se.
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Q: Naam?
Ans:B.A
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Q: Kab paida hoay?
Ans: koshish buhot pehly jari thi per 1947
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Q: Baap ka naam?
Ans: wese to kitne aaye gaye lekin ab geelani sahab hai
by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)
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by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Tu chand mange
Main chand dedu.
Tu raat mange main raat dedu.
Tu dil mange main dil dedu.
Tu jaan mange main jaan dedu.
Bas
Yar light na mangna, wo to wapda waly b nhe dy sakty . . . .
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision
VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"
"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."
"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"
"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation
Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill
While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.
Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up
Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
1 pathan boht der se 1 Haseen Larki ko Ghoor rha tha
.
Larki:
Kya dekh rhe ho?
.
.
.
.
Pathan:
Hm soch rha tha k agr tm hmara AMMI hota to hm b KHOBSURAT hota.
by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
Aik Dulha shadi ki Pehli raat,
apni BIWI ke ghonghat utha k baray piyar se poochta hai,
kiya naam hai hamary ‘ hazoor ‘ ka?
Biwi: Hazart Muhammad (S.A.W.W)
Dulha: kiy faramya hazoor ne?
Biwi: yehi Namaz parho Roza rakho or Zakaat do.
Dulha pareshan ho kr bahir gya or bola
SB ANDAR Aa jayen
DARS ho raha hai
by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)