Interviewer: Let me check your English...Tell me the opposite of good

Sardar: Bad

Interviewer: Come

Sardar: Go

Interviewer: Ugly

Sardar: Pichlli

Interviewer: PICHLLI?

Sardar: UGLY

Interviewer: Shut Up

Sardar: Keep Talking

Interviewer: Ok now stop it

Sardar: ok now carry on

Interviewer: Abay chup ho ja....chup ho ja....chup ho jaa

Sardar: Abe bolta reh....bolta rah....bolta reh

Interviewer: Are yaar

Sardaar: Are dushman

Interviewer: Get Out

Sardar: Come In

Interviewer: U r Rejected

Sardaar: I m selected...bale bale

by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!) / 1074 views

Vasectomy Jokes

As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision

VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"

"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation

Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill

While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.

Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up

Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

school trip

DAD: How did you enjoy your school trip to the seaside, son?
FRED: OK, Dad, but a crab bit my toe.

DAD: Which one?

FRED: Dunno. All crabs look alike to me.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)

A pig and a chicken were walking

A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.

"Great idea!" the chicken cried.

"Let's offer them ham and eggs?"

"Not so fast," said the pig testily. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment." by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.

"Great idea!" the chicken cried.

"Let's offer them ham and eggs?"

"Not so fast," said the pig testily. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment."

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)

aur Rikshaw mai baith kr chaLa gya...

Shadeed Garmi mai Bus Stop py Log bus K intizar mai khare thy, ek Faqir aya, Sub sy Bheek Li



aur Rikshaw mai baith kr chaLa gya...

by Abdul Hannan (few years ago!)

Teacher:-Ganga, Jamuna,Saraswati

Teacher:-Ganga, Jamuna,Saraswati or Kaveri, India kinadiyan hain, Pakistan ki nadiyon ke naam batao…....

Santa:-Rukhsana, Farzana, Rihana, Rizwana !!

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)