An big Elephant is drinking out of a river when he spots a turtle asleep on a log. The elephant ambles over and kicks the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river.
"Why did you do that?" asks a passing giraffe.

"Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 47 years ago."

"Wow, what a memory!" says the giraffe.

"Yes," says the elephant. "Turtle recall."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 701 views

Teacher vs pathan

Teacher :qatel kise kehte hain
pathan:nai pata
teacher :agr tum apne baap ko maar do to ap kia huwe
pathan:yateem

by Sabir shah (few years ago!)

Ladki Ne Apne Naye Naye

Ladki Ne Apne Naye Naye Bane Boyfriend Se Puchha.

Girl: “Jab Tum Log Girls Ko I Love You Kehte Ho, To Un Ka Haath Kyun Pakad Lete Ho”

Boy: “Bass Apni Hifaazat Ke Liye, Kahi Ladki Thapar Na Maar De“

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Vasectomy Jokes

As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision

VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"

"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation

Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill

While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.

Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up

Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

pathan in jungle

Pathan: Main Ek Baar Jungle Mein Susu Karne Gaya Toh Waha Per Sher Tha.
.
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Sardar: Phir Kya Hua?

Pathan: Maine Sher Se Kaha, Pehle Tum Karlo, Mera Toh Ho Gaya Hai.

by Abdul Hannan (few years ago!)

1st night Dulhan ke

Dulhay: 1st night Dulhan ke aankh pr kiss keya or kaha

“Ankhin sakhsiat ke kitab hoti hain”

Dulhan: tum ko kitaboo main khoay ho or library main aag lagi hy.

by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)