Search Results for 'blonde'
A blonde and her husband are sleeping when the neighbor’s dog starts barks and wakes them up. The blonde sighs, shakes her fist and says 'Wait until you see what I'm going to do to those neighbors!' She runs out of the house and five minutes later she comes back with a smile on her face. The husband asks 'So, what did you do?' The blonde says 'Well, I took the dog from their yard and I put it in our yard to see how they like it having the neighbor’s dog barking all night.'
by Kamran (few years ago!)
Two blondes are on a train, sitting in a cabin next to an older gentleman who happens to have a long beard.
One of the blond girls whispers to the other 'Wow, look, it's Charles Darwin!!'
'Are you stupid, he's been dead for over 200 years!' the other blonde replies.
Just then, another older man walks into the cabin and says 'Howdy Charles, I haven't seen you for hundreds of years, what have you been up to?'
The first blonde says to the second 'Who's stupid now?'
by Kamran (few years ago!)
Two blondes are on a train, sitting in a cabin next to an older gentleman who happens to have a long beard.
One of the blond girls whispers to the other 'Wow, look, it's Charles Darwin!!'
'Are you stupid, he's been dead for over 200 years!' the other blonde replies.
Just then, another older man walks into the cabin and says 'Howdy Charles, I haven't seen you for hundreds of years, what have you been up to?'
The first blonde says to the second 'Who's stupid now?
by Kamran (few years ago!)
Q: Why does a cement wall break to pieces when a blonde hits it with their head?
A: The smartest one gives up first.
by Kamran (few years ago!)
A blonde is missing for three days. Her husband is very worried and searches for her everywhere, calls the cops, but nothing turns up. On the third day the blonde shows up at home and her husband opens his eyes widely and looks at her in disbelief. He starts talking to her:
- Where have you been!? We've been looking everywhere for you!
- I was kidnapped, and they kept me for a week!
- Wait, you've only gone for three days!
- I know silly, but I have to go back for another four!
by Kamran (few years ago!)
There was a blonde at a stoplight and it said “walk.” She started walking and, when she was in the middle of the street, the sign turned to “don't walk.” So she stopped.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A blonde's redhead decides to show her a neat way to trick people -- you put your hand on a wall and ask someone to punch it. But before they do, you pull your hand away!
"That is a neat trick," thinks the blonde, and tries desperately to remember it, but isn't all too successful. Despite this, she decides to try it out on her blonde friend.
"Okay," she says, "I'm going to put my hand in front of my face..."
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A blonde was telling a brunette that her computer broke. So the brunette said she would check the blonde's e-mail for her.
The blonde said, ''Cool! E-mail me and tell me what I got.''
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A blonde girl and her boyfriend were walking down the road when her boyfriend spotted a dead bird. He said:
"Aww, look at that dead bird," the blonde girl looks up and says: "Where?"
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking.......and one blonde says to the other,
"Which do you think is farther away.........Florida or the moon?"The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida..?????"
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely
if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving
very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"
The blonde said, "I`m sorry sir, but wherever I go,
there`s always a tree in front of me and I can`t seem to get away from it!"
The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that`s your air freshener!"
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)