Search Results for 'blonde'

I have in the bag

A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her. The man in the car says to her,

What do you have in the bag?
The blonde replies: I have chickens!

The man thinks for a moment and says, If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?

The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, Okay, but I`ll make the bet even better!
If you can guess how many chickens,

I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
One day a blonde was horseback riding

One day a blonde was horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started going too fast and bouncing out of control. The blonde tried with all her might to hang on, but soon was thrown off.

With her foot caught in the stirrup, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce on the ground as the horse would not stop or even slow down. Just as the blonde was about to give up hope and was losing consciousness...

The K-Mart manager came out and unplugged the horse.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Two blondes walking

Two blondes walking down the street. One reaches into her pocketbook for a make up compact and looks into the mirror. "This picture looks like someone I know" she says. The other one has a look and says, "Of course dummy, it's ME...."

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
There were two blondes

There were two blondes, who went deep into the woods, searching for a Christmas tree.
After hours of subzero temperature and a few close calls with hungry Wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A police officer stops

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together.

Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A blonde walked into a store

A blonde walked into a store to buy curtains.

She went up to the salesman and said, "I want those pink curtains to fit my computer screen.

The salesman mentioned, "Computers don't need curtains."

The blonde said, "Hellooo…. I have windows!"

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Blonde to servant

Blonde to servant: Go and water the plants.

Servant: It's raining.

Blonde: So what take an umbrella and go !!!

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
I have to come 5 miles

Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet.

Blonde: Why did you come so far. Instead you could have posted it..

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A blonde told her doctor

A blonde told her doctor that she was really worried because everypart of her body hurt.The Doctor looked concern & said,"show me where."

The Blonde touch her own arm and screamed,"ouch!"she looked at the doctor and said "see?It hurts everywhere!"

The doctor laughed and said ,"Don't worry ;it's not serious.You have just got a broken index finger."

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A blonde and a brunette are skydiving

A blonde and a brunette are skydiving.

The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens.

She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.

The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
I know all of them

A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them."

A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Guess Who KNows

A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them."

A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."

by Abdul Sami (few years ago!)
blond sky divers

A blonde and a brunette are skydiving.

The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens.

She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.

The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"

by Abdul Sami (few years ago!)
Rowing ur boat

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"

To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."

by Abdul Sami (few years ago!)
Blonde in pain


A blonde told her doctor that she was really worried because everypart of her body hurt.The Doctor looked concern & said,"show me where."

The Blonde touch her own arm and screamed,"ouch!"she looked at the doctor and said "see?It hurts everywhere!"

The doctor laughed and said ,"Don't worry ;it's not serious.You have just got a broken index finger."

by Hassan Ali (few years ago!)
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