As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision

VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"

"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation

Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill

While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.

Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up

Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 837 views

A man in a hurry taking

A man in a hurry taking his eight-year-old son to school made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.
"Uh-oh, I think I just made an illegal turn!" the man said.
"It's okay, Dad," the boy said, "The police car right behind us did the same thing."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Larki ko respect

Larki ko respect deni chaiye..
Line toh ptcl wale bhi dete hain ;) :D

by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)

Yar meri biwi pani se

Banta: Yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai.
Friend: Acha wo kaise?
Banta: Yar kal mein ghar gaya to wo bathtub mai
bhi security guard k sath bethi thi!

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)

Agar ek diwar banane me

Tcher-agar ek diwar banane me 10000 ka kharch ata h to 2 diwar banane me kitna ayega?
Stu-10 Crore

Teach-nalayak kya nam hai tere baap ka? Stu-Suresh kalmadi

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

1 girl: Mai ameer ladke se hi shadi karungi

1 girl: Mai ameer ladke se hi shadi karungi
2nd :baju me jo ladka h usse shadi karle, wo ameer h
1st:kese
2nd: Uske muh se pyaj ki smell aa ri hai

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)