As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision

VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"

"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation

Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill

While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.

Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up

Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 1090 views

dil

Dil diya tha MOHABBT ki nishani samajh kar,
Wo kha gaya use BIRYANI samajh kar.
Khoon-e-jiger B na chora zalim ne,
Wo B pi gaya LIMON PANI samajh kar.

by Asim Raza (few years ago!)

Aaj Light Khana

Aaj Light Khana
Santa standing below a tubelight with an open mouth
WHY??

Coz his doctor advised him, "Pet me dard hai to aaj light khana"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

A Man Jumped In Water

A Man Jumped In Water & Didn't Come Out..
Another Man Jumped In & Didn't Come Out..

A Sardar Watching From A Distance Concluded That.

."Human Being Is Soluble In Water"

by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)

Rays emitting from the bo0ks are directl

Rays emitting from the bo0ks are directly proporti0nal to sleepiness….,

“STUDENT’S 1ST law of nalaiqness”

by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)

Qarardad-e-Pakistan 1940 me

Qarardad-e-Pakistan 1940 me manzur hui,
Lekin dono mulk 1947 ko AzAD hue??
Q?
Q k 7 saal dono sochte rahe k
PATHAN kon rakhega or SARDAR kon?

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)