As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision

VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"

"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation

Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill

While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.

Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up

Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 765 views

AIK PATHAN CHILKAY SAMET KELA KHA RAHA THA 

AIK PATHAN CHILKAY SAMET KELA KHA RAHA THA

 ADMI NE POCHA TO

KEHNAY LAGA MUJHAY YAQEEN HA IS KE ANDAR KELE HI HOGA.

by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)

meri dictionary main

Santa:-meri dictionary main namumkin shabd nahin hai.

Banta:-are yaar dictionary kharidne se pahle check kar lena chahiye na.

by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)

A B C

Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very
scared of doing them in front of the class. The
teacher, though, told him that the best way to
conquer his fears would be to just go ahead and
do it. So, trembling, he stood in front of the class
and began.
"ABCDEFGHIJLKMNOQRSTUVWXYZ."
"Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's
the P?
"It's running down my leg."

by khalid hussain (few years ago!)

Pyar Use Nhi Kehte Jisme Aashiq

Pyar Use Nhi Kehte Jisme Aashiq Mar Jaye

Pyar To Use Kehte Hai

Jisme Aashiq Mar Jaye Aur Pyar Amar Ho Jaye..

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Molvi Shahab Ka Tota

1 Molvi Sahab Ka Tota (Parrot)
Daily 1 Shakhs Ko Ye Kehta Tha K : “O Beghairat”

Us Shakhs Ne Molvi Se Shikayat Ki Molvi Ne Totey Ko Danta

Agley Din Jab Wo Shaks
Qarib Se Guzra To Tota Kuch Na Bola Thora Aagey Ja K Us Ne Peeche Mur K Dekha
To Tota Hanste Huwe Bola:
“Samaj To Tu Gaya Hoga”…

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)