As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision

VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"

"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation

Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill

While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.

Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up

Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 1060 views

pankha to chala do

Pathan:”Light nahi hai to kambakht pankha to chala do”.

Pathan:”Light nahi hai to kambakht pankha to chala do”.
BV:”aakhir pathan hi ho na aqal to hai hi nahi, pankha chala diya to mombatti bujh jayegi :)

by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)

u r a normal person if

u r a normal person if....

1- u got a f.b acount

2-u got a mobile num

4-u r wasting ur tym in reading ths

5-u did't notice that there is no numbr 3.

7-u went to check if num 3 is there

8-whr is mumbr 6?

9-u r now smiling

10-whr is num 1?

11-u went to chk num 1....

12now do u relly think that u r normal???

by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)

Ghar construction

Santa Ne Apna Ghar Construct Kiya..
Construction Ke Baad Uper Wale Part Par Color
kiya,
Aur Nechay Wale Part Par Likh Diya
"SAME AS ABOVE"

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)

pathan to dukandar:give me blackbulb du

pathan to dukandar:give me blackbulb
dukandar:what is black bulb
pathan:ullu ke pathe jab rat ko andhera hota hai to hum roshni wala bulb istamal kartay hain mujhe ab andhere wala bulb chahiye takay sabah mein sunay ke liye andhera kar sakoon

by Aurangzeb Khan Tunio (few years ago!)

Similarity

Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika…
Dono NE kapde tyag diye,
Ek NE desh ke liye,
Doosre NE Deshwasion ke liye!

by A. Sami (few years ago!)