As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision

VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"

"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation

Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill

While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.

Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up

Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 1140 views

Pati, Patni aur Afsos

Pati Patni Mein Zabardast Jhagda Ho Raha Tha,

Patni: Kash Main Apni Mom KiBaat Maan Leti Aur Tum Se Shadi Na Karti

Pati: Kya Matlab? Tumhari Maa Ne Mujh Se Shadi Karne Ko Mana Kiya Tha?

Patni: Haan, Bahut Baar…

Pati Rote Hue Bola: Hey Bhagwan, Main Aaj Tak Uss Nek Aurat Ko Kitna Bura Samjhta Raha Jisne Mujhe Bachana Chaha

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Facebook pe kisi ladki se chat

Facebook pe kisi ladki se chat
karne se
accha...
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Kisi Kutte ko patthar maaro...
Atleast dhang se
reply to karta hai.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Ek charsi ki bakri gum ho gai

Ek charsi ki bakri gum ho gai bohat talash kya magar nhi mili,

Sham ko ghar aaya tou bakri samne bandhi hui thi,

Ghuse mai aa kar bakri zibah kar di,

Khud bhi khai or doston ko bhi khilai,

Jab subha so kar utha tou dekha bari sahi salamat khari thi,

Aur kuta gayeb tha……

by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)

pankha to chala do

Pathan:”Light nahi hai to kambakht pankha to chala do”.

Pathan:”Light nahi hai to kambakht pankha to chala do”.
BV:”aakhir pathan hi ho na aqal to hai hi nahi, pankha chala diya to mombatti bujh jayegi :)

by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)

Tum is ladki kojaante ho

Santa - “Tum is ladki kojaante ho?”
Banta- “Ha,kabhi mai iske saath soya karta tha!”
Santa- “Achaa! kab? kaha?”
Banta- “Jab mai college me padta tha!
angreji ke claas me !

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)