As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision

VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"

"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation

Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill

While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.

Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up

Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 1162 views

simple Curiosity

My wife and I were watching some TV show the other nite where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband and see if he were infact "cheating" on her. I asked my wife if she would ever do that. She said, "Well not so much to find out who the other woman was, but to see if I could find out what she saw in ya."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Aadmi jyotish se

aadmi jyotish se
meri shaadi q nahi ho rahi..?

jyotish: ab qudrat ne teri qismat mein dukh nahi likhy to mein kiya karun

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

daughter in love

Wife: ?I Think Our Daughter is in Love with Someone?

Husband: ?How Do U Know??

Wife: ?B’coz She ?s Not Asking For Pocket Money?

by tanveer hussain (few years ago!)

1 Mendak pandit k pas gya

1 Mendak pandit k pas gya or apna future pucha

Pandit-Tuje 1 Ladki milegi or tera Dil le jayegi.

Mendak khushi se-Wo milegi kaha?
Pandit-BIOLOGY-LAB me. ..

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

2 mawqe jin pe insan dost ko bholta hai

Insan 2 maukun pe apne dost ko bhool jata hai.

1.pyari si girl friend mil jae.

2.ya cricket me bating mil jae.

by Sabir shah (few years ago!)