As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision

VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"

"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation

Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill

While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.

Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up

Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 1254 views

Putar, Use 1 Lota Pani De De

Santa’s Son: Oye Papaji
Bahar Darwaje Par Koi Swimming Pool Ke Liye Donation Mang Raha Hai

Santa:Putar, Use 1 Lota Pani De De…!!!

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Patni Pati se

Patni (Pati se)- Tum to kehte the ki shaadi ke bad b mujhe khub pyaar
karoge..

Pati- Sorry yaar! Mujhe maalum nahi tha ki tumhari shaadi mujhse hogi ....

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Looking at the sky

Wife: (Looking at the sky) and asking her husband "Aisi kon c cheez hay jo tm roz deKhtay ho par torh nhi sktay ?"
.
?
.
.
... ?

.

Husband: tumhara 'Munh'

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Sardar

Sardar Ki Maa Ko Gussa Kab Aata Hai?

Jab Sardar Laughter Challange Me Hans Hans Kar Har Ek Contestant Ko Kehta He..

“Bas Kar Mere BAAP

by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)

it has been shown

It has been shown as proof positive that carefully prepared chocolate is as healthful a food as it is pleasant; that it is nourishing and easily digested... that it is above all helpful to people who must do a great deal of mental work.
Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

by Abdul Sami (few years ago!)