Forums > General Talks > jokes collection by khurrambaber
khurrambaber


Age: 42 Male
5036 days old here
Total Posts: 2400
Points : 60

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gujranwala, Pakistan

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Subject : jokes collection by khurrambaber (closed)
Aik sardar ko exam my koi swal nahe ata tha,srdar ny hr swal ky nechay |||||||||||| is tara ke lines laga de or lika


Scratch kr ky answer parhlen.

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Posted on June, 06 2011 03:38:52 PM


mak412


Age: 28 Male
3840 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline
Teen aurtein aapas mein batein ker rahee theen. Ek boli, merey shohar ki yaaddasht itni kamzoor hey key sabzi leney jatey hein to sabzi bhool ker ghar aa jatey hein

Doosri boli: Merey shohar is sey bhee ziada bhulakkar hein, woh to sabzi key sath tokri bhee bhool aatey hein

Teesri ney kaha: Yeh to kuch bhee nahi. Mein agar apney mian key sath sabzi leney jaoon or bheer mein gum ho jaoon, to mil janey per poochtey hein, behen aap ko pehley bhee kaheen dekha hey

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Posted on June, 04 2014 12:51:55 PM

mak412


Age: 28 Male
3840 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline
een saheliyan ek shadi mein janey key barey mein apni tayyarian discuss ker rahee theen

Ek boli, merey mian key baal kaley hein isliey mein kali sarhi pehnoon gi

Doosri boli, merey mian key baal bhoorey hein, mein bhoori sarhi pehnoon gi

Teesri ney kaha, mujhey to soch ker hi sharam aa rahee hey, merey mian key to baal hi nahi

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Posted on June, 04 2014 12:53:46 PM

mak412


Age: 28 Male
3840 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline
Beewi nai sarhi keliey zid ker rahee thee. Mian ney samjhaya, “Naik bakht, tumhari almari sarhion sey bhari pari hey, yoonhi khamkhwa paisey zaya kerney ka kia faida”

Biwi boli: Woh to sab ki sab mohalley walon ney dekh rakhee hein

Acha! Mian ney kaha, phir aisa kertey hein, mohalla badal letey hein

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Posted on June, 04 2014 12:54:59 PM

mak412


Age: 28 Male
3840 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline
Mian biwi car mein jaa rahey they key barish ney aan liya. Wind screen bilkul dhundli ho gyee. Kuch nazar na aa raha tha, kai baar hadsa hotey hotey reh gaya. Khaufzada biwi ney larazti awaz sey poocha, “Aap ek minute gari rok ker screen saaf kyun nahi ker letey?”
Shohar: Us sey kia faida ho ga? Einak to mein ghar par bhool aaya hoon

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Posted on June, 04 2014 12:58:15 PM

mak412


Age: 28 Male
3840 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline
Qabristaan mein ek sahab qabar key paas kharey zaroqataar ro rahey they or marney waley sey shikayat ker rahey they

“Tum is dunya ko chor ker kyun chaley gyey? tumharey janey key baad meri dunya hi andher ho gyee.

Tum zinda hotey to mujhey yeh din kyun dekhney naseeb hotey? Yeh museebtein kyun sehna parteen?”

Qareeb ki qabar per kharey ek sahab ney un ka haal dekh ker hamdardi bharey lehjey mein poocha, kyun sahab, marney waley aap key qareebi dost ya rishtey daar they?

Pehley sahab boley, “Nahi, meri biwi key pehley shohar…”

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Posted on June, 04 2014 12:59:29 PM

mak412


Age: 28 Male
3840 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline
Professor sahab ghabraey ghabraey college key gate per kharey her aaney janey waley ko ghor sey dekh rahey they. Ek student un key paas gaya. Professor sahab ney poocha, tum ney mera hat dekha hey?
Student: woh to aap key sar par hey
Professor: Oh Thank you, agar tum na batatey to mujhey nangey sar hi ghar jaana parta

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Posted on June, 04 2014 01:02:39 PM

mak412


Age: 28 Male
3840 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline
Ek professor ko classroom mein larkey bohat tang kertey they. Un key mukhtalif naam rakhey huey they or kabhi sahee naam sey yaad nahi kertey they

Ek din woh apney professor dost key saath kaheen jaa rahey they to peechey sey kisi ney awaz lagai, “Oey tiddey…!”

Professor sahab ney apney dost ko kaha, “yeh aap ko tidda keh raha hey”

Dost bola, “ji nahi, yeh aap ko keh raha hey”

Professor sahab bohat eitamad sey boley, “Hargiz nahi, yeh aap hi ko keh raha hey, mujhey to yeh chohara kehtey hein”

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Posted on June, 04 2014 01:04:53 PM

mak412


Age: 28 Male
3840 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline
Ek sahab apney ghar key darwazey per apney naam ki takhti laga ker us per bijli ka bulb laga rahey they
Paas guzartey dost ney poocha: yeh kia ker rahey ho?
Sahab boley: Apna naam roshan kerney ki koshish ker raha hoon

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Posted on June, 04 2014 01:06:20 PM

mak412


Age: 28 Male
3840 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline
Ek sahab ooncha suntey they or taqreeban behrey ho chukey they. Ek dafa apney dost key ghar gyey to us ka kutta inhein dekh ker zor zor sey bhonkney laga.

Halat itni kharab thee key bhonkney ki awaz tak na aai. Dost ko kehney lagey: Tum apney kuttey ka khayal rakha karo, lagta hey sari raat so nahi saka

Dost bola: kyun kia hua is ko?

Boley, “Dekho to sahee mujhey dekh ker jamaian ley raha tha”

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Posted on June, 04 2014 01:07:57 PM

mak412


Age: 28 Male
3840 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline
Doctor: Khansi ka kia haal hey? Khanstey huey takleef to mehsoos nahi hoti?
Mareez: Ji nahi
Doctor: Lagta hey meri batai hui dawa ney asar khoob kiya hey
Mareez: Aap ki dawa ka kamal nahi hey, mein sari raat khansney ki practice kerta raha hoon, yeh us ka nateeja hey

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Posted on June, 04 2014 01:09:39 PM

mak412


Age: 28 Male
3840 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline
Ek boorha mareez doctor key paas gaya or kehney laga, “Doctor sahab, mein apni beemari ki wajah sey bohat pareshaan hoon”
Doctor: “Aap ziada pareshaan na hon, mein aap ko aisee dawa doon ga key aap khud ko bilkul tandrust o tawana mehsoos karein gey, balkey yoon samjhein bilkul jawan ho jayein gey”
Mareez (ghabra ke): Janab aisa na kijiey, warna meri pension band ho jaey gi

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Posted on June, 04 2014 01:10:52 PM

mak412


Age: 28 Male
3840 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline
Doctor (Mareez se): Aap theek ho jayein gey, laikin bheer mein janey sey gureiz karein
Mareez: Laikin doctor sahab, mein apney peshey key hathon majboor hoon
Doctor: Tum kia kertey ho?
Mareez: Mein jaib kutra hoon

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Posted on June, 04 2014 01:12:24 PM

mak412


Age: 28 Male
3840 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline
Doctor sahab ek mareez ko dekhtey hi boley, “Aap ko to ainak ki zaroorat bohat arsey sey thee, laikin aap nazar test kerwaney aaj aaey hein”
“Kamaal hey”, mareez ney hairaan ho ker kaha, “Aap ko yeh baat muaina kerney sey pehley hi maloom ho gyee, aap yaqeenan intehai tajarba kaar doctor hein”
Doctor: “Is mein tajarbey ki koi khaas baat nahi, agar aap bahar laga hua board parh saktey to aap ko maloom ho jaata key mein mahir-e-imraaz-e-niswaan hoon”

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Posted on June, 04 2014 01:14:23 PM

mak412


Age: 28 Male
3840 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline
Doctor (doosrey se): “Kia tum ney kabhi kisi mareez key ilaaj mein sangeen ghalti ki?”
Doosra doctor: “Haan, ek baar mein ney pait key dard key ek mareez ka ilaaj kiya or woh theek ho gaya, halankey woh aasani sey apendix key operation ka kharcha bardaasht ker sakta tha”

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Posted on June, 04 2014 01:15:32 PM

mak412


Age: 28 Male
3840 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline
Doctor (Mareez se): Tumhein kon sa marz hey
Mareez: Janab, woh samandar ka kinara, suhani dopeher, peepal ki chaon…
Doctor (Ghussey se): Mein ney tum sey marz poocha hey, afsana sunaney ka nahi kaha
Mareez: Doctor sahab, afsana sunana hi mera marz hey

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Posted on June, 04 2014 01:16:54 PM

mak412


Age: 28 Male
3840 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline
Pehla afeemi: Yaar mein jahan jaata hoon tum merey sath hotey ho

Doosra afeemi: Tum jidher bhee jao gey, mein tumharey peechey aaon ga

Pehla afeemi: Agar mein bazaar gaya to?

Doosra afeemi: Mein tumharey sath jaoon ga

Pehla afeemi: Agar sheher gaya to?

Doosra afeemi: Mein bhee tumharey peechey chala aaon ga

Pehla afeemi: Or agar mein kunwein mein chalang laga doon to…..?

Doosra afeemi: Mein baher beth ker tumhara intezaar karoon ga

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Posted on June, 04 2014 01:20:46 PM

mak412


Age: 28 Male
3840 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline
Do afeemi sheher jaana chahtey they laikin un key paas kiraya nahi tha

Ek afeemi bola, chalo yaar post office chaltey hein, dakiya aaey ga to hamein bhee saath ley jaey ga

Dono daak khaney jaa ker beth gyey, dakiya aaya or khat ley gaya, dono afeemi bhee saath ho liey

Dakiey ney khat mohar(stamp) wali jagah rakhey to dono afeemi bhee beth gyey. Daak walon ney dekh ker un ki pitai shuru ker di

Ek afeemi bola, yaar yeh hamein kyun maar rahey hein? Doosra: Chup ker yaar! mohar laga rahey hein

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Posted on June, 04 2014 01:22:38 PM

mak412


Age: 28 Male
3840 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline
Ek purani adakara ek qasbey mein gyee to log us key gird jama ho gyey. Woh khushi key aalam mein boli, “Aaj 35 saal ki umer mein bhee utni hi maqbool hoon jitni 15 saal ki umer mein thee”

Abhee woh khamosh hui hi thee key ek nojawan bol para, “Kia waqai aap ki umer 35 saal hey?”

“Beshak!” adakara ney jawab diya

“Aap ko apni woh film to yaad hi ho gi jis mein aap ney ek bewa ka role kiya tha, or woh bacha bhee yaad ho ga jis ko us film mein loriyaan suna suna ker sulaya kerti theen”, nojawan ney poocha.

“Haan haan, bilkul yaad hey, aisey lagta hey jaisey kal ki baat ho” adakara boli.

“Mein wohi bacha hoon, or meri umer 35 saal hey”, nojawan ney sanjeedgi sey jawab diya.

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Posted on June, 04 2014 01:24:11 PM

mak412


Age: 28 Male
3840 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline
Nojawan larki ney phone per sirf 20 min baat ker key phone rakha. Us ka baap bara khush hua kyunkey larki kabhi ek ghantey sey kam baat nahi kerti thee.

Us ney beti ko is tabdeeli pe mubarakbaad di or kaha, “Kia saheli sey baat ho rahee thee?”

Larki ney jawab diya, “Ji nahi, wrong number mil gaya tha”

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Posted on June, 04 2014 01:33:29 PM

mak412


Age: 28 Male
3840 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline
Mela laga hua tha. Ek akhbaar wala akhbar bech raha tha laikin bik nahi rahey they. Us ney socha key aisee zabardast khabar parhi jaey key log us ki taraf mutawajja ho jayein.

Us ney ek khaufnaak khabar ka eilaan shuru ker diya, “The dam has broken”

Meley mein bhagdar mach gyee, log sar pe paon rakh ker bhagey.

Police waley barey pareshan huey, jab unhein pata chala key hua kia hey to unhon ney loudspeaker sey eilaan kiya, “The dam has not broken”

Logon mein aur afratafi mach gyee, kyunkey un ka khayal tha key police deny ker rahee hey to khabar sach hi ho gi

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Posted on June, 04 2014 01:35:28 PM