William Shakespeare

William Shakespeare

A peace is of the nature of a conquest; for then both parties nobly are subdued, and neither party loser.

by Abdul Sami (few years ago!) / 792 views
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Boy on a date with GF

Boy on a date with GF:-jaan main tumse ek baat kahna chahta hoon?
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GF:-Kya?
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BF:-Iam already married.
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GF:-Apne to mujhe dara he diya, main samjhi aapke pass paise nahi hai.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A Barrage Of Obama Jokes

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
~Conan O'Brien

America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
~Jay Leno

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
~Jay Leno

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree... and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
~Jay Leno (we love Jay)

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
~Jimmy Kimmel

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!
~Jimmy Fallon

After a quick meet-and-greet with King Abdullah, Obama was off to Israel, where he made a quick stop at the manger in Bethlehem where he was born. ~Jon Stewart

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.
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Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
~David Letterman (Dave's not bad either)

Police in Texas arrested a man who was using the alias 'Barack Obama' while trying to steal money from 35 ATMs. They could tell something was up when a guy named Barack Obama was trying to take money from banks instead of giving it to them. ~Jimmy Fallon

You know, it's hard to believe President Obama has now been in office for a year. Isn't that amazing? It's a year. And you know, it's incredible. He took something that was in terrible, terrible shape, and he brought it back from the brink of disaster: The Republican party. ~Jay Leno

President Obama should get a big refund this year because he has a lot of dependents. AIG, Citibank, Morgan Stanley - all dependents.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
There were two blondes

There were two blondes, who went deep into the woods, searching for a Christmas tree.
After hours of subzero temperature and a few close calls with hungry Wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Bus conductor

Bus conductor: Why are taking two tickets?
Passenger: Because if i lose one that second ticket will save me.
Conductor: what if you lose both?
Passenger: Listen, I am not a fool. I already have my Pass with me.!!!

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teachar:beta is line ko 2 lafzo

Teachar:beta is line ko 2 lafzo me bolo

“me apse pyar karti hu”

Student:”sorry mem
Teri meri,meri teri prem kahani he mushkil 2
lafzo me ye byan na ho paye…

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
1 larki interview dene gyi

1 larki interview dene gyi
boss-woh kya chiz h jiske 2 tyre hote h..?
larki-bike..
boss-nhi..honda bike
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boss-woh kya chiz h jiske 4 tyre hote h ?
larki-car..
boss-nhi..maaruti car
.
.
ab larki ki baari thi
larki-woh kya chiz h jo bahar se white pr uske andar kala gola hota h..?
boss-hehe..aankh
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.
.
.
.
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larki-nhi..saale teri maa ki ankh..

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Kabootar Ka Accident

Car se takra kar kabutar behosh ho gaya.

Aadmi use doctor ke paas le gaya phis ghar le aaya

aur pinjre me rakkha.

Kabutar ko hosh aaya or bola -

"Aila sala jail ho gai, wo car wala mar gaya kya."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
how do you spell “crocodile”?

TEACHER: PAPPU, how do you spell “crocodile”?

PAPPU: “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”

TEACHER: No, that’s wrong

PAPPU: Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
Husband aur Wife

Husband aur
Wife Hotel me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne
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Wo? Husband:- Tum dimagh kharab
mat karo, main pehle hi pareshan
hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi

by Åkásh khãñ (few years ago!)
Ladke wale Ladki k ghar aaye Or Pucha

Ladke wale Ladki k ghar aaye Or Pucha...

'Ladki kuch karti bhi hai...??'
Ladki ki Maa - Han Ji...
11 Rupes Main Pure 1100 SMS Krti hai wo bhi 7 din me..

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
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