My Grand Father Lived For 96 Years
My Grand Father Lived For 96 Years
He Never Used Glasses
Sardar :Ya I Know
Few People Drink
Directly From Bottle
by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 1098 views
Similar Jokes
Husband: dear tumhari gardan par ajeeb
si cheez hay jise dekh kar khauf aata hay.
Wife:Wo kiya?
Husband:
Tumhara ‘moun’…
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision
VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"
"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."
"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"
"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation
Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill
While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.
Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up
Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A pathan for an exam had studied only one essay ‘FRIEND’,
but in the exam the essay which came was ‘FATHER’ .
He replaced friend with father in the essay and it read:
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Sardar ko road pr para aik 500 ka note mila jis pe likha tha eid mubarak
Sardar ne idhar udhar dekh kar note jaib me rakhte howe kaha khair mubarak
by Umer hayat (few years ago!)
Mother:Beta dhoop main khade kiya kar rahe ho
Son:Ammi paseena sukha raha hooon
by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
1 larki coke pi rahi thi, k achanak us main se aik MACHAR nikla aur bola "MAA"
Larki: Main teri maan nahi hon.
Machar: Aisa na bol maan main teri COKE se nikla hon!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A foreign language teacher was explaining to her class that, unlike their English counterparts, French nouns are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.
Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral. Confused, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?"
The French teacher wasn't sure which gender it was, so she ivided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was comprised of the women in the class, and the other of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Sardar:
Bhai Jail Ko Urdu Mei Hawalaat Q Kehty Hen?
Pathan:
Q K Jail Mei Khany Ko Sirf
‘Hawa’
Or
‘Laat’
Hi Milti He
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Ek larki class me gana ga rahi thi
O ZARA zara TOUCH ME touch me touch me!
Tabhi 1 larka utha or larki ko chu lia or
Bola himmat hy to aage Gaa k dikha!!
by Abdul Sami (few years ago!)
A Girl Sitting In Examination Hall With Sardar Ji
Girl: Sardar Ji Mein Tuwadi Nakal Mar Laa?
Sardar: Ahoo To Meri Nakel Maar Lay Fair Mein Teri Asal Mar Lawa Ga…
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)