Biwi (Wife): Tum sotai howai mujhai galiyan dai rahai thai

Shohor (Husband): Tumko ghalat fahmi howi hai

Biwi (Wife): Kiya ghalat fahmi how hai?

Shohor (Husband): Yahi kai mai soo raha thaa

by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!) / 877 views

Vasectomy Jokes

As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision

VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"

"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation

Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill

While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.

Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up

Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Boy: Will you marry me

Boy: Will you marry me?

Girl: No

Boy: But Why?

Girl: My family will not agree.

Boy: Who is in your family?

Girl: 1 Husband and 2 kids.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

PANI ke bina

- interview -

Question: To bataiye PANI ke bina insan kese marega?

Answer- Sir, PANI Nahi hoga to insaan tairega kaise? Tairega nai to doob jayega!! den dead...

by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)

Paisa Itna Diya Aur Kamra Itna Chota

Ek Baar Ek Khan Hotel Mein Room Book Karwa Raha Hota Hai,

Aur Receptionist Waiter Ko Khan Ke Kamare Tak Pahunchane Ke Liye Kehti Hai, Waiter Khan Ko Le Jata Hai Aur Bolta Hai.

Waiter: “Chalo Ander”

Khan: “Oye Hum Is Kamre Mein Nahi Rahga, Humko Pagal Samjha Hai Kya? Paisa Itna Diya Or Kamra Itna Chota Sa”

Waiter: “Abe Gadhe Ki Aulad, Andar To Chal Ye Lift Hai“

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Buy Alligator Shoes

A man was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However he was not prepared to pay the high prices, and after having failed to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, ended up shouting "I don't give two hoots for your shoes man, I'll go and kill my own "croc!," to which the shopkeeper replied, "by all means, just watch out for those two "ole boys" who are doing the same!".

So the man went out into the Bayou, and after a while saw two men with spears, standing still in the water. 'They must be the 'ole boys' he thought. Just at that point he noticed an alligator moving in the water towards one of them. The guy stood completely passive, even as the gator came ever closer.

Just as the beast was about to swallow the him, he struck home with his spear and wrestled the gator up onto the beach, where several already laying Together the two guys threw the gator onto its back, where-upon one exclaimed "Darn! This one doesn't have any shoes either!".

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)