Heart Attack
Doctor: Aapko isse pehle kabhi heart attack hua
thaa kya yaa first time hua hai ?
Patient: Haan doctor sahab, ek baar; last time jab
aapne bill diye tha tab hua tha….
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!) / 563 views
Similar Jokes
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
sardar to his wife: Darling, years ago you had a figure like Coke bottle.
Banto: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml
now it’s 1.5 ltr.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Charsi Qabristan me Churs P rha tha.
Police: Kya kr rhe ho ?
Chrsi: Abu k lia Dua.
Police: Ye to Bache ki Qabr hy.
Chrsi: Abu Bachpan me hi mrgye thy.
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
Doctor to Patient : The check which u gave me has returned back.
Patient to Doctor:The head-ache for which you gave me medicine has also returned back.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
BOSS:15 din ki chuti q chahiye?
pathan:cousin ki shadi he.
boss:cousin ki shadi me15 din chuti q?
pathan:cousin ki shadi mujse ho rahi he
by itrat batool (few years ago!)
SHERU ARPITA SE BOLA -
BHAI AAJ TO CHAY PINE KA MAJA AA GAYA.”
ARPITA NE KAHA- “UNCLE JI, AGAR BILLI NE DUDH ME MUH NA MARA HOTA TO AUR BHI MAJA AATA.”
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary,
What should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
by Mohammad Awais Rashid (few years ago!)
Police Officer Bachey Se:Beta Kia Tumhare Abu “Al Qaida” Me Hain?
Bacha: Uncle! Mujhe Abu Ka To Pata Nahi! Per Main.“Noorani Qaida” Pe Hoon!
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Funny Santy To Banty: Banty tujhe pata hai bhagwan sabse jyada khush kab hotey hain?
Banty: Mujhe nahi pata tu bata kab hotey hain….
Santy: Jab bhi kisi ladki ka RAPE ho raha hota hai toh woh chillati hai “Please Mujhe Bhagwan Ke Liye Chhod Do”
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Do bachche aapas main baat kar rahe the.
Pahle bachcha:-pata hai,mere papa kal nai mummy laye hain ,wo bahot achchi hai.
Doosra bachcha:- pata hai pata hai, pichle saal who meri mummy reh chuki hain.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)