GM Like Computer Industry

At a recent COMDEX, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated that:

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got1,000 miles to the gallon."

General Motors has issued a press release stating:

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would just accept this, restart and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car XP" or "Car 2000". But then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would only work on 5% of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning light would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the justice dept.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You would press the "start " button to shut off the engine.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 1106 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

Similar Jokes

Sardar went to meet his Chinese

Sardar went to meet his Chinese friend who is dieing in hospital. 
Man says CHIN YU YAN and then he dies.
 Sardar goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words. The Meaning is YOU ARE STANDNG ON THE OXYGEN TUBE!

by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
Height of HOPE

Height of HOPE:
Sitting in Examination hall
Holding paper in hand
And saying to yourself
.
.
"Don't worry man, Exam will be postponed"

by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
Dukandar Aurat Se

Dukandar ek aurat ko kapre dikha
dikha k thak gaya
.
.
.
akhir bola, mujhe afsos hai apko koi
kapra pasand nahi aaya
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Aurat: Koi baat nahi mai to wese bhi
sabzi lene aayi thi :P:P

by Aurangzeb Khan Tunio (few years ago!)
Kutte Ki Dum Kabhi Seedhi Nahi Hoti

Santa Kutte Ki Poonch Pipe Mein Dal Raha Thha,

Banta: “Oye, Kutte Ki Dum Kabhi Seedhi Nahi Hoti”

Santa: “Idiot, Main To Pipe Bend Kar Raha Hoon“

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Pupil: Moon... Teacher : Why?

Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?

Pupil: Moon... Teacher : Why?

Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Sardar

Sardar and Police man

Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police: Kyon hasn rahe ho?
Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun.


Two Sardars

1st sardar: oye agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?

2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ki banda soo hi jaye

Sardar on Train Tack

1 sardar rail ki patri per so gaya .
1 aadmi ne kaha kya kar rahe ho? Train aayegi to mar jaoge!

Sardar: Mere uper se hawai jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua, train kya cheez hai?

Sardar Ji in Practical Exam

In bio practical:
Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?
Sardar: I don't know.
Examiner: You r failed, what's your name?
Sardar: See my legs & tell my name

by Haris Abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)
NAWAZ SHAREEF

FAQEERNI:(dosri se)main shadi usse kron gi jo
dako hoga
jhota hoga
qatil hoga
lutera hoga
or 1 number ka lotera or harami hoga
(DOSRI FAQEERNI)
O HO Zaat di faqeerni te khawab NAWAZ SHAREEF de

by FAROOQ BALOCH (few years ago!)
GOLU Gifted A Card To His

GOLU Gifted A Card To His Father On His BirthDay With Quote On It
.
Phool To Bohat Hain Par Gulaab Jaisa Koi Nahi

Mere Baap to Bohat Hain Par Aap Jaisa Koi Nahi "...:

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
1 Admi Rikshay wale se

1 Admi Rikshay wale se: Khan Sahab saddar jaega?

Khan: Hamara khayal hy nahi jaega.

Admi: Aray bhai saddar jaega?

Khan: Shayad 2013 tak jaega.

Admi: Abey me bol raha hu Regal Chowk, Saddar jaega?

Khan: Ye to saddar ka marzi hy k regal chowk jae ya banaras chowk ham se poch k thori jaega…

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Propose Ya Adopt

Girlfriend to Boyfriend: Mera ladla, mera pyara, mera chhona, mera gugla.

Muj se shadi karoge? Bolo baby, bolo na!

Funny Boyfriend: Tum mujhe propose kar rahi ho ya adopt ?

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
  • Page 1 of 1
  • 1

Most Viewed Jokes

Santa’s shayari: Kutta marr ..

Hathi Aur Kele Ki Game

funny

Husband: Mein apni wife se

1 larki interview dene gyi

A pig and a chicken were wal..

jawad

Bahut garmi hai yaar

Aik dafa aik sardar

Kon Bane ga Karor Pati

Existing Users Login
User ID
Password
 
 
Join Now / Forgot Password

also you can..
Login with Facebook