Christmas Tree

There were two blondes, who went deep into the woods, searching for a Christmas tree.
After hours of subzero temperature and a few close calls with hungry Wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 694 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

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Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas

Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
jaaj . (mulzim say) tum jantay ho

jaaj . (mulzim say) tum jantay ho jooth bhool kar tumhay kahan jana ho ga …
Mulzim .. dozakh mein
Jaj … aur such bhool kar //
mulzim …. sarkari jail khanay mein .

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The neat trick

A blonde's redhead decides to show her a neat way to trick people -- you put your hand on a wall and ask someone to punch it. But before they do, you pull your hand away!

"That is a neat trick," thinks the blonde, and tries desperately to remember it, but isn't all too successful. Despite this, she decides to try it out on her blonde friend.

"Okay," she says, "I'm going to put my hand in front of my face..."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A Very Insulting Parrot

This elderly lady, recently widowed, decides to see if a pet will ease her loneliness and goes to the pet store. She decides against puppies, kitties, etc., and is about to leave the store when she hears a voice saying, "My, do you look lovely this afternoon, madam."

She turns around quickly to see who has spoken, but there is no one. All she sees is a big green parrot, resting on his perch in his cage. "Did you say that?" she asks.

"Why, yes, I did!" he replies. "And may I add that dress is a very nice color for you."

The lady suddenly realizes how nice it would be to not only have a talking parrot, but one that paid such nice compliments. So she pays for him and takes him home. On the way, she says, "You know, I am so proud of you that I believe I'll take you out for dinner! Would you like that?"

The parrot says, "Why yes, that would be delightful. I know a charming place on 7th Street."

So they arrive home and the lady progresses upstairs to her room to change for dinner, bringing the parrot along, of course. When the woman enters the building, the parrot begins complaining, swearing, and even bit her once.

Well, the woman is flabbergasted! She grabs the parrot by the throat, marches down the stairs into the basement, and stuffs the parrot in the freezer. She leaves him there in the freezer for five long minutes before taking him back out. The parrot is very cold.

She says, "Well? Have you learned your lesson? I will not tolerate such language in my house!"

The parrot says, "Okay, okay, I promise it won't happen again. I am deeply sorry."

Within five minutes, he is cursing again and bit her once on the arm and once on the finger.

The lady is absolutely stunned. She rips the parrot out of his cage, goes down the stairs, into the cellar, and, slam, into the freezer. This time, she leaves him in there for fifteen minutes.

When she finally takes him out, the parrot is one step away from death. He is shivering and has light frost on the beak. "I swear it will never ever happen again! I will never insult you again! I promise!" As he thaws, he looks up at the lady and says, "I do have one question though. That turkey in there, what'd he do, attack you?"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
talaq chahye

Aik Bivi Judge Se Mujhe Apne Husband Se Talaq Chaye Ha .

Judge Lkn Kyon ?

Bivi Ma Jo Bi Pakaow Mera Husband Zid Karta Hai Ma Bi Wohi Khow...:-P;->

by tanveer hussain (few years ago!)
Sir: Babar Kon Tha

Sir:
Babar Kon Tha

Student:
Pata Nhe
...
Sir:
Parhaee Par Dehan Do To Pata Chaly

Studnt:
Ali Kon Hai

Sir:
Pata Nahe

Studnt:
Apni Beti Pr Dehan Ho
To Pta Chaly…:)

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Man Get Slapped

Sochte huwe bhi dar lagta hai.

If women could read minds,

every second man will get slapped. ;)

by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
Pathan

Aik pathan apne rickshy k sath khra tha
aik aadmi aya or pucha: khan bhai iqbal town jao ge?

Khan: mei to chla jaunga lakin mere rickshay ka kon khayal rakhega?

by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)
Funny Santy To Banty: Banty

Funny Santy To Banty: Banty tujhe pata hai bhagwan sabse jyada khush kab hotey hain?

Banty: Mujhe nahi pata tu bata kab hotey hain….

Santy: Jab bhi kisi ladki ka RAPE ho raha hota hai toh woh chillati hai “Please Mujhe Bhagwan Ke Liye Chhod Do”

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Chesapeake Bay and a Blonde

Q: What's the difference between the Chesapeake Bay and a blonde?

A: The Chesapeake Bay is losing its crab population.

by khalid hussain (few years ago!)
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