Santa checked his girlfriend
Santa checked his girlfriend’s mobile to know under what name she had saved his number. When he dialed his number form her phone, it showed “TIMEPASS NO. 8”
by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 825 views
Similar Jokes
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Ek Jungle Mein Mor Aur Morni Bethe The, Mor Ka Man Morni Ko Kiss Karne Ka Kiya,
Mor Morni Ko Kiss Karne Hi Laga, Ki Morni Use Rok Ke Idhar-Udhar Dekhne Lagi, To Mor Ne Puchha,
Mor: “Kya Hua Janu?”
Morni: “Dekh Rahi Hoon Aas-Pass Discovery Wale To Nahi Hai Saale ‘MMS’ Bana Lete Hain“
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Customer To Banker:
Agar Mian Aaj Cheq Deposit Karwata Hu Tou Kab Tak Clear Ho Jaye Ga?
Banker: Sir 2, 3 Din Lagay Gay.
Customer: Dono Banks Amnay Samnay Hain Phir Itnay Din Kio?
Banker: Sir Procedure Tou Follow Karna Parta Ha..
Ab Jesay K Agar Aap Qabristan K Bahir Accident Main Mar Jatay Hain,
Tou Pehlay Aap Ko Ghar Lay Kar Jayen Gay,
Ghusal Daingay, Kafan Pehnayen Gay,
Janaza Parhain Gay.
Ya Wahi Martay Hi Gaar Tou Nahi Dengay?
Customer: Lanat Teri Misal Pay Manhoos :D
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
ek pathan k janaze main log bhangra daal rahe tahe.
wajha pochi to ek pathan ne bataya k
pehli dafa hum main se koi
Brain Hambrige se mara hai
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
One Day A Boy Sat With One Girl, Next Day With Another Girl, Third Day With Another Girl, We Can Learn A Moral From This, Girls Changes, Boy Will Not.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Santa-yar banta apne India me sabhi kutte kamjor
q hote hai?Banta:kyuki sab kutto ka khun 2
DHARAMENDER Pee jata hai.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Santa says: Koi acha sa kapda (cloth) dikhaiye.
Salesman: Plain main dikhaon?
Santa: Abey hawai jahaz main nahi dukan par hi
dikha!
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Shaadi ke bad Rakhi apni dady se: Meri unse ladai ho gayi ,Dady:
Shaadi main jhagde to hote rahte hai fikar mat karo.
Rakhi: Woh toh thik hai par ab Laash ka kya karun.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Lrki ro rhi thi Pthan:Q ro rhi ho? Lrki:khon test krwna h ungli katniparegi Pthan B rone lga Lrki:kia hoa Pthan:mne to pishab test krwna he
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
Gabbar-Ye Hath Hum Ko De De Thakur,
Thakur-Nahi Yaar Gabbar,
Me Dil Ka Mariz Hu,
Agar Tune Mere Hath Kaat Diye To Mai B.P Kese Check Karwaunga..
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)