Suicide
Chiman is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks...takes along some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks,
'Kyon bhai ye sab kyun leke baithe ho?'
Chiman replies, 'Saali train late aati hai
kahin bhook se na marjaun..'
by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 687 views
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by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision
VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"
"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."
"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"
"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation
Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill
While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.
Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up
Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Ek bhanebaj kramchari ka dada us ke daftar mein ja ker uske boss se bola: Iss daftar mein sunil naam ka aadmi kaam karta hai, mujhe us se milna hai weh mera pota hai
Boss ne muskura ker kaha: Mujhe afsos hai, aap der se aaye hain, weh aapki arthi ko kandha dene ke liye chutti laker ja chuka hai
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Admi: Apko garmi lagti hai tu kia kartay ho??
Sardar: AC ke qareeb baith jata hon
Admi: Phir bhi garmi lagy tu kia karty ho?
Sardar: Phir AC ko ON kar laita hon
by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)
Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?
Husband: A slight Push…
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Sardar Was Writing Something Very Slowly
Friend Asked: Why R U Writing So Slowly?
Sardar:Im Writing 2 My 6yr Old Son He Cant Read Fast
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Boyfriend: Darling mein kal tumhaare ghar gaya tha…but lagta hai hamaari shaadi nahi ho paayegi…
Girlfriend: Oh no kyun? papa se mile they kya ? kya boley woh….
Boyfriend: Nahi, tumhaari behan se milaa tha…
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
teacher:bachoo my name is khan dekh kar kya
lesson mila?
bachee:my name is khan se ye samajh me aya ke
paglo se bhi ladkiya pat sakti hai.........
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
A guy was searching how to tackle wife on google, the google replied:-..
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Even we R searching.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
santa apne father k samne cigrate pi raha tha
Logon ne kaha ke aap apne father ke samne cigratte pi rahay ho?
Santa bola : Wo mera father hai, koi petrol pump thodi.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)