To kahan bhete ga

Santa, Banta & Bobby were going on a motorcycle:
Policeman gives hand to stop.
Santa shouted: Oye pagal, pehle he 3 bethe hain tu
kahan baithega?

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!) / 871 views
(Not Rated Yet)
 

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student life


Agar Question paper tough lagy
Ya samaj mai aye tu
Ek gahri saans lo, owr zor se chilawo:
.
.
"Kameeno fail hi karna hai tu exam kion laity ho…"

by inayat khan (few years ago!)
Is dawai se theek na ho

Chemist: Is Dawai Se Thik Na Ho 2 Ye Parchi Lekar
Fir Aana.
Grahak: Kyo?
Chmst: Mai Ek Baar Fir Doctor Ki Likhai Padhne Ki
Koshish Karunga.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
wife gana ga rhi thi

Wife Gana gaa rahi thi

Husband: Jab tum Gati ho to Lagta he Indra Gandhi ga rahi ho

Wife: Lekin Usay to Gana hi nahi aata tha

Husband: Te Anni diye tenu kera aanda Ay

by tanveer hussain (few years ago!)
A woman goes to the doctor,

A woman goes to the doctor, and she’s beaten black and blue.

Doctor: “What happened?”

Woman, "Doctor, I don`t know what to do. Every time my boyfriend comes home drunk he knocks lumps out of me."

Doctor, "I think I might have a cure for that. When your boyfriend comes home drunk, just take a mug of tea and start swishing it around in your mouth but don`t swallow it. Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes to his bed."

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor no sign of bruising whatsoever.

Woman, "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea. Every time my boyfriend came home drunk, I swished with the tea. I just swished and swished, like washing machine and he didn`t touch me!"

Doctor, "See how much keeping your fuckin mouth shut helps?"

by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
PATHAN LYARI me tha 1 building me aag lag gai

PATHAN LYARI me tha 1 building me aag lag gai


PATHAN fire fighter se:
tum logo ko nechey phainko main catch karo ga


Pehle 1 larka aya
phir 1 larki
phir admi
phir aurat
PATHAN ne Sab ko pakar lia


Phir 1 MAKRANI ka Bacha aya to PATHAN ne chor diya or bola


O bhai, Jo jal gaye hain, wo to na phenko

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Aaj main ne 25 lo

Aaj main ne 25 logon ko bewaqoof banaya.

Pata he kasay?

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Bilkul aisay.

Ab 26 ho gay.

by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
Zindagi Main Ek Baar Tu Sahi Socho

Mujhe abhi abhi yeh sms apne ek dost se mila aur mujhe laga ki main app logon se ise share karon.
Jinke Pass wo hota hai,
woh hath me leke hilate hain.
Jinke pass nahi hota hai,
wo ungli dal ki hilate hain….

Bolo Kya?
Tooth Brush..

Yaaar zindagi main ek baar tu sahi Socho. :)

by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
500 ka note mila

Santa aur banta ko 500 ka ek note milaa.
Santa: hum ise 50-50 karlenge
Banta: baaki 400 kaa kya karoge?

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
main tumhain day kr

Husband:
Me Tmhain Talaaq De kr
Dosri Shadi Kru Ga…
Wife:MGr Q.?
Husband:
Imran khan Ne kaha hai
Khush Haali K liye”Tabdeeli”Zauri
ha..

by A. Sami (few years ago!)
Food Quotes And Quips

Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . .

"Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ... After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead." -- Miss Piggy

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." --Sam Levinson

"This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them." -- Gracie Allen

"I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." -- Erma Bombeck

"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster." -- Joe E. Lewis

"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead." -- Woody Allen

"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." -- Fran Lebowitz

"Health food makes me sick." -- Calvin Trillin

"Watermelon -- it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face." -- Enrico Caruso

"Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get." -- Robert Orben

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
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