Husband texts to Wife
Husband texts to Wife on cell…
hi, what r u doing?
Wife- i m dying..
Husband jumps with joy but types Sweet Heart, how can i live without u?
Wife- u idiot i m dying my hair..
Husband- bloody english language..
by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 626 views
Similar Jokes
Dad's writes on son's facebook wall:
Dear Son, how are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot.
Please turn off the computer and come down for dinner.
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision
VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"
"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."
"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"
"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation
Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill
While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.
Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up
Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher:tum kis khan dan se ho?
Student:janwaron k se.
Teacher:kiun?
Student:papa mujhe ulla ka patha,ammi mujhe gadha,dada g shar ka beta aur dadi bander kehti hai.
by Sabir shah (few years ago!)
Sardar: Raat film vich ik chudail kade mere aggey, kade mere pichchey…
Pathan: Kehri film si ? Sardar: Apne Shaadi di movie si -
by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)
wife:subah mere chehre pe pani kyo dala,
pati: tere baap ne kaha tha k meri beti PHOOL ki tarha hai ise murzane mat dena..
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my
Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like
the passengers in his car.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Pakistan mai loadshedding khatam
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Abhi itna hi suna tha k light chali
gae :-(
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
Mujhse Wo Kahti Hai,
Ke Tumhari Zindagi Ko Jannat Bana Doongi.
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Banani Usko Maggi Bhi Nahi Aati,
Confidence To Dekho Aajkal Ki Ladkiyo Ka.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
a child said 2 pregnent lady..
Ye pait me kya hai ???
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Lady:" Isme mera pyara sa cute sa
baby hai..
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Child:" Itna pyara tha to usko kha kyu liya??
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
"A woman has 2 weapons X_X
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Tears and Make~Up =D"
by khalid hussain (few years ago!)