Santa: Mujhe aaj tumhari ungliyan katani paregi,

Wife: Kyu?

Santa: Pappu kah raha tha Lady Finger ki sabji khani hai.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 663 views

Santa naha rha tha

Santa naha rha tha,dost ne awaz lagai,santa nanga hi bahar aa gaya dost-kuch to pahen leta yaar,santa bhag k andar gaya or “chappal pahen kar aa gaya.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Pathan 2 shopkeeper

Pathan 2 shopkeeper: Bhai sahb 1 rupia ka Easy Load kardo
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Shopkeeper: 1 rupey ke load se kesi ko call karni hai ya msg?
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Pathan: Karna tu kuch bhi nahi,
Bus aisy hi paisy urany ki adat hai

by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)

Vasectomy Jokes

As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision

VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"

"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation

Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill

While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.

Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up

Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

santa ne banta se

Santa ne banta se kaha, Bahar dekh subah hui ke nahi.Banta... Janaab, abhi bahut andhera hai.Santa bola saale,kaamchor, torch jga ke dekh.

by Abdul Sami (few years ago!)

Pthan ki aqal

1 Pathan apny Jaib mai Pathar dal ke Ja raha tha
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Kesi ne pocha: Esa kion kar rahy ho?
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Pathan: es dunia mai us ki Qadar hoti hai, jes ki Jaib bhaari hoti hai.

by Mohammad Awais Rashid (few years ago!)