Patient to Doc: Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi hai, uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta hu, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 801 views

Student

2 students raat mai parhty howy

1st: what's the time?

2nd ne pathar utha kar samny ghar par mara

1 aurat nikli owr gussy se boli "Kameeno Ab tu so jawo raat ky 3 baj gaye hen

by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)

A Russian ship was sinking.

A Russian ship was sinking.

Captain: Does any one know how to pray?

An Indian priest (pandit) comes forward and says he can pray.

Captain: Ok priest, you pray; Everyone else in ship will wear a life jacket. We are short of one.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

A Very Insulting Parrot

This elderly lady, recently widowed, decides to see if a pet will ease her loneliness and goes to the pet store. She decides against puppies, kitties, etc., and is about to leave the store when she hears a voice saying, "My, do you look lovely this afternoon, madam."

She turns around quickly to see who has spoken, but there is no one. All she sees is a big green parrot, resting on his perch in his cage. "Did you say that?" she asks.

"Why, yes, I did!" he replies. "And may I add that dress is a very nice color for you."

The lady suddenly realizes how nice it would be to not only have a talking parrot, but one that paid such nice compliments. So she pays for him and takes him home. On the way, she says, "You know, I am so proud of you that I believe I'll take you out for dinner! Would you like that?"

The parrot says, "Why yes, that would be delightful. I know a charming place on 7th Street."

So they arrive home and the lady progresses upstairs to her room to change for dinner, bringing the parrot along, of course. When the woman enters the building, the parrot begins complaining, swearing, and even bit her once.

Well, the woman is flabbergasted! She grabs the parrot by the throat, marches down the stairs into the basement, and stuffs the parrot in the freezer. She leaves him there in the freezer for five long minutes before taking him back out. The parrot is very cold.

She says, "Well? Have you learned your lesson? I will not tolerate such language in my house!"

The parrot says, "Okay, okay, I promise it won't happen again. I am deeply sorry."

Within five minutes, he is cursing again and bit her once on the arm and once on the finger.

The lady is absolutely stunned. She rips the parrot out of his cage, goes down the stairs, into the cellar, and, slam, into the freezer. This time, she leaves him in there for fifteen minutes.

When she finally takes him out, the parrot is one step away from death. He is shivering and has light frost on the beak. "I swear it will never ever happen again! I will never insult you again! I promise!" As he thaws, he looks up at the lady and says, "I do have one question though. That turkey in there, what'd he do, attack you?"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Pehla afeemi: Yaar mein jahan jaata hoon

Pehla afeemi: Yaar mein jahan jaata hoon tum merey sath hotey ho

Doosra afeemi: Tum jidher bhee jao gey, mein tumharey peechey aaon ga

Pehla afeemi: Agar mein bazaar gaya to?

Doosra afeemi: Mein tumharey sath jaoon ga

Pehla afeemi: Agar sheher gaya to?

Doosra afeemi: Mein bhee tumharey peechey chala aaon ga

Pehla afeemi: Or agar mein kunwein mein chalang laga doon to…..?

Doosra afeemi: Mein baher beth ker tumhara intezaar karoon ga

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)

Doosri Shaadi

Pati: Agar mein mar gaya toh mere marne ke baad, kyaa tum doosri shaadi karogi ?

Patni: Nahi… main apni behan ki saath rahungi. Aap Kya Karoge ?

Pati: Mein bhi tumhaare marne ke baad tumhari behan ke saath rahunga…

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)