GUEST- Beta tumhara janam kis din hua tha ?
CHILD- Wedenesday ko...aur apka ??
GUEST- Sunday ko..
CHILD- Aap jhoot bol rahe ho Sunday ko toh chhuti hoti hai.

by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!) / 535 views

Pathan ki Akal

Ik din ik pathan sabzi leenay gaya or woh sabzi mandi pohncha to dekha kafi deer se sabziwala sabzi ko pani laga raha hai akhir tang aaker us ne sabzi walay see kaha jub yah timtor hosh main ajayeen to 2 kilo tol dena.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Mata-pita apne bacho se bolte

Mata-pita apne bacho se bolte hain k Dil lgakar pdhai karo.

Magar unhe kon smjhaye ki Dil lgane k baad pdhayi kha hoti hai.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Purchasing New Brains

A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points.

After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center's director that he was an acceptable candidate.

"That's great!" the executive said. "But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive."

"Yes, sir, it can," the director replied. "An ounce of accountant's brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an economist's brain costs two thousand; an ounce of a corporate president's is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a Democrat's brain is seventy-five thousand dollars."

"Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a Democrat's brain? Why on earth is that?"

"Do you have any idea," the director asked, "how many Democrats we would have to kill?"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Mother day

Teacher:mother day par maan kaisi hasti hai
Pathan:hahahahahahahahahaha aise hasti hai.

by Sabir shah (few years ago!)

GM Like Computer Industry

At a recent COMDEX, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated that:

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got1,000 miles to the gallon."

General Motors has issued a press release stating:

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would just accept this, restart and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car XP" or "Car 2000". But then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would only work on 5% of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning light would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the justice dept.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You would press the "start " button to shut off the engine.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)