Search Results for 'wife'
A husband and wife were involved in a petty argument, both of them unwilling to admit they might be in error.
"I'll admit I'm wrong," the wife told her husband in a conciliatory attempt, "if you'll admit I'm right."
He agreed and, like a gentleman, insisted she go first.
"I'm wrong," she said.
With a twinkle in his eye, he responded, "You're right!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two."
The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said, "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world."
"I'm glad that you feel that way because tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us," she replied
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Wife standing in front of a mirror and telling to her husband, “I am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty. Will you still give me a romantic compliment?”
Husband replied, “Your eyesight is still excellent.”
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A retired couple is lying in bed one night and are discussing all aspects of their future.
"What will you do if I die before you do?" husband asked wife.
After some thought, she said, "I'd probably look for a house sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age."
Then wife asked husband, "What will you do if I die first?"
He replied, "Probably the same thing."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they'd have to drastically alter their life-style.
"If you'll just learn to cook," he said, "we can fire the chef."
"Okay," she said. "and if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Mother to daughter: “What kind of person is your new boyfriend? Is he respectable?”
“Of course he is, Mom. He’s thrifty, doesn’t drink or smoke, has a very nice wife and three well-behaved children.”
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in most countries, son.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary.
At the party, everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age. The husband responded “When we were first married, we came to an agreement to share. I would make all the major decisions, and my wife would make all the minor decisions.”
“But do you know what I just realized?”
“In 60 years of marriage I don’t think we have never needed to make a major decision.”.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Wife to husband: " What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"
Husband to wife: " Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife to husband: " What ? At 2 am ? "
Husband to wife: " Yes, We used night clubs.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word..
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, ' Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied , 'in-laws
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Man to wife on wedding night: "Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with ? "
Wife replied: " Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others !"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A man said t o his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
' The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach when a beautiful young woman in a very slight, very tight bikini strolled by.
The near-naked woman looked at the doctor, smiled, and said in a sexy voice: “Hi there handsome. How are you doing?”
She then wiggled her backside and walked off.
“Who was that?” demanded the doctor’s wife.
“Err… Just a woman I met professionally,” replied the doctor.
“Oh yeah?!” snarled his wife, “Whose profession? Yours or hers?”
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)