A Barrage Of Obama Jokes
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
~Conan O'Brien
America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
~Jay Leno
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
~Jay Leno
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree... and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
~Jay Leno (we love Jay)
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
~Jimmy Kimmel
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!
~Jimmy Fallon
After a quick meet-and-greet with King Abdullah, Obama was off to Israel, where he made a quick stop at the manger in Bethlehem where he was born. ~Jon Stewart
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.
~David Letterman
Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
~David Letterman (Dave's not bad either)
Police in Texas arrested a man who was using the alias 'Barack Obama' while trying to steal money from 35 ATMs. They could tell something was up when a guy named Barack Obama was trying to take money from banks instead of giving it to them. ~Jimmy Fallon
You know, it's hard to believe President Obama has now been in office for a year. Isn't that amazing? It's a year. And you know, it's incredible. He took something that was in terrible, terrible shape, and he brought it back from the brink of disaster: The Republican party. ~Jay Leno
President Obama should get a big refund this year because he has a lot of dependents. AIG, Citibank, Morgan Stanley - all dependents.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 653 views
Similar Jokes
Beta: maa, aaj subhah jab mein papa ke sath bus mein aa raha tha to unhone ek aurat ke liye mujhse apni seat chodne ko kaha.
Maa: Beta, ye to achi baat hai bado ka samman karna chahiye
Beta: magar maa, mein to papa ki god mein baitha hua tha.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
For pepsi "shahrukh"
For coke "aamir"
For mirinda "vivek"
For fanta "rani"
& For Thums Up "Akshay"
Don"t worry
For Bante wala soda "You"
Cheers !!!
by Mazhar Khan (few years ago!)
Ek chota baccha bahut der se ghar ke bahar khada
darwaje ki ghanti bajane ki kosish kar raha tha.Toh
ek budha aadmi aaya aur kaha:
Budha aadmi: Kya kar rahe ho beta?
Baccha: Uncle, yeh ghanti bajana chahta hoon.
Budha aadmi (ghanti bajake): Yeh lo bajgaya, ab
kya hai?
Baccha: Ab bhago!
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Car chalaataa huaa Santa ko road mein "ACCIDENT ZONE" ka board dikhaa. isliye santa ne sochaa:
"Yeh log accident zone mein kyu road banaate hai?"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Captain: Naujawanon Come Forward
Sardarji Does Not Move
Captain: You Did Not Move Forward, Why?
Sardarji: Oji You Said 9 Jawanon, I Was The 10th In
Line!
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
1st sardar: oye agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?
2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ki banda soo hi jaye
by Mohammad Ali (few years ago!)
BF:Mai Tumhara Mobile Dekh Sakta Hu
GF:Ha Janu Q Nai Just A Minute
Delte Delete Delte
Ya Lo Janu Dekh Lo Tumha To Mujpe Trust Hi Nai
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Little Johnny is approached by the lifeguard at the
public swimming pool.
"You're not allowed to pee in the pool," said the
lifeguard. "I'm going to report you."
"But everyone pees in the pool," said Little Johnny.
"Maybe," said the lifeguard, "but not from the
diving board!"
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Father: Beta Maths mai kion Fail hogaye?
Kid: Teacher kehta hai 6+4 = 10
Aglay din kehta hai 5+5 = 10
Phir kehta hai 8+2 = 10
Wo khud confuse hain tu mujhe kia Pass karaingy
by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)
A boy of 1st class to her teacher.
Do you like me?
Miss. So sweet.
Student: When should I sent my
parents to your home?
Miss. Why?
Student: To talk about us.
Miss: What are you saying?
Student: For tuition.
by hearthackervsgirls (few years ago!)