A Barrage Of Obama Jokes
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
~Conan O'Brien
America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
~Jay Leno
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
~Jay Leno
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree... and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
~Jay Leno (we love Jay)
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
~Jimmy Kimmel
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!
~Jimmy Fallon
After a quick meet-and-greet with King Abdullah, Obama was off to Israel, where he made a quick stop at the manger in Bethlehem where he was born. ~Jon Stewart
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.
~David Letterman
Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
~David Letterman (Dave's not bad either)
Police in Texas arrested a man who was using the alias 'Barack Obama' while trying to steal money from 35 ATMs. They could tell something was up when a guy named Barack Obama was trying to take money from banks instead of giving it to them. ~Jimmy Fallon
You know, it's hard to believe President Obama has now been in office for a year. Isn't that amazing? It's a year. And you know, it's incredible. He took something that was in terrible, terrible shape, and he brought it back from the brink of disaster: The Republican party. ~Jay Leno
President Obama should get a big refund this year because he has a lot of dependents. AIG, Citibank, Morgan Stanley - all dependents.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 936 views
Similar Jokes
Sardar:
Tum Shadi Shuda Ho?
Pathan:
Han, Humara Aurat Say Shadi Hua Ha
Sardar:
Bewakuf, To Kia Mard Se B Shadi Hoti Ha
Pathan:
Han Humara Bahen Ka Hua Ha.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Tumse mil kar hogaya zindgi se pyar
Raah main chorr kar mat jana mere yaar
Bin tere hum ji na payenge
Tum na hoge to hum
BEWAQOOF
kisay banayenge;-)
by khalid hussain (few years ago!)
Ek Memon Doctor K Pass Gaya Or Bola
K Ghar Ja Kar Mareez Check Karnay K Kitnay Paisay Lo Gay?
Doctor:
Rs.300
Memon:
Chalain Doctor!
Doctor Ghar Pohanchay To Doctor Ne Pocha
K Mareez Kahan Hai?
Memon:
Mareez Koi Nahi Hai,
Sala Taxi Wala
500 Maang Raha Tha!
Or Aap 300 Main Lay Aaye…!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
For his wife's birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:
"You are not getting older. You are just getting better."
Asked how he wanted the message arranged, he said, "Just put 'You are not getting older' at the top and 'You are just getting better' at the bottom."
It wasn't until the good doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered that the cake read:
"YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP.
YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Santa Apne Dost Se: “Aaj Ghar Jate Hi Biwi Ki Chaddi Utarunga.”
.
Dost: “Aaj Bade Mood Mein Lagte Ho?”
.
Santa: “Ghanta, Bahut Tight Hai Yaar, Subah Galti Se Biwi Ki Pehan Li Thi.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Santa Jab Fifth Class Mein Tha To Ek Din Madam Ne Us Se Puchha
Madam: “Santa Batao, India Ka Jhanda Sab Se Pahle Kahaan Lagaya Gaya Tha?”
Santa Kaafi Sochne Aur Dimaag Pe Zor Dene Ke Baad Bola
Santa: “Mam, Dande Par“
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Ek Ladke Ne Collge Mein Ek Ladki Ko Offer Maara.
Badle Mein Ladki Ne Us Se Puchha
“Hamesha Meri Baat Manoge,
Mujhe Kabi Kuch Nahi Kahoge,
Touch Bhi Nahi Karoge,
Kiss Bhi Nahi Karoge.”
Boyfriend: “Behen Tu Ghar Ja, Tere Mummy Papa
Chinta Kar Rahe Honge.“
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
3 Best Things in Life
.
.
.
.
.
1. Raat ki Neend
.
.
2. Dopahar ki Neend
.
.
3. Subah ki Neend …
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Jab Ladka Ulti Kare To Maa: “Kaha Se Pee Ke Aaya Hai Kameena?”
Or Jab Ladki Ulti Kare To Maa: “Koun Hai Woh Kameena?”
Conclusion: “Boys Are Always Kameene.“
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
2 Friends after Giving d Exam
1st: Oye paper konsa tha?
2nd: Maths
1st: Mtlb Tu paper kar k Aaya hai?
2nd: Nhi Yar sath wali Bachi k hath me Calculator Dekha tha.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)