A Russian ship was sinking.

Captain: Does any one know how to pray?

An Indian priest (pandit) comes forward and says he can pray.

Captain: Ok priest, you pray; Everyone else in ship will wear a life jacket. We are short of one.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 593 views

Vasectomy Jokes

As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision

VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"

"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation

Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill

While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.

Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up

Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

Sardar vs bv

Sardar jb peshab karne k lye gia to radio sath le gia.
Bv :aj to bare maze se kia hoga
sardar:khak maze se jb bithne laga to qaumi tarana shoru hogia aur khare ho k karna para.

by Sabir shah (few years ago!)

Bandar ka bachcha apni ma se:

Bandar ka bachcha apni ma se: main kitna badsurat hoon. Bandar ki ma: Bhagwaan ka shukar ada karo aur usko dekho jo SMS pad raha hai.....

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

New Teacher: anybody who thinks he is stupid, stand up

New Teacher:
anybody who thinks he is stupid, stand up

pappu stoodup

Teacher: R U stupid?

Pappu: “nhi, Aap akeli khari theen mujhe acha nhi lag raha tha”

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)

mujh say koi ghalti ho gai kiya?

Mujse koi galti ho
gayi hai kya?
Pichle 1 hafte se
mujhe ignore kar rahe ho.
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plz
aisa mat karo..
tumhara pyara..
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“SABUN”
PLZ NAHA LO YaaR.

by Abdul Sami (few years ago!)