A Russian ship was sinking.
A Russian ship was sinking.
Captain: Does any one know how to pray?
An Indian priest (pandit) comes forward and says he can pray.
Captain: Ok priest, you pray; Everyone else in ship will wear a life jacket. We are short of one.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 593 views
Similar Jokes
As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
It's A Family Decision
VasectomyBill was at his family doctor for his annual physical exam. His doctor returned, filling out a bunch of stuff on his chart, and boasted "Your checkup went well, everything looks to be in order. Is there anything that you'd like to ask me?"
"Well," Bill mumbles, "Actually, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."
"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked this over with your family?"
"Yeah, and they're in favor 9 to 2."
Right After The Operation
Bill wakes up from a vasectomy and the doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. "The good news is we were able to save your testicles. The bad news is they're under your pillow."
What Really Happened To Bill
While doing the vasectomy, Bill's doctor slipped and cut off one of his testicles. In an effort to avoid a malpractice lawsuit, he replaced Bill's missing ball with an onion.
Two weeks later, Bill returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doc asked. "Pretty good, but I've had some strange side effects." "Like what?" the nervous doc asked anxiously. "Well, every time I pee my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on."
Post-Op Final Check-Up
Six weeks after his vasectomy, Bill returns to his doctor for his scheduled semen test. The nurse hands him a little jar and points to a broom closet down the hall. After half an hour, he still hasn't come out - and a line is forming! So she puts her ear to the door to see if he is ok. All she can hear is lots of heavy breathing and grunting, so she goes back to her station and tells the other guys to wait their turn. Fifteen minutes later the guy finally comes out, red in the face and sweating. "I've tried everything," he says. "I've pulled it, I've twisted it, I've even pounded it on the sink, but I *still* can't open this damn jar!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Son-Jeevan Bima Se Kya Hota Hai
Baap-Beta,Bima Ek Garib Aadmi Ko Zindagi Bhar Garib Rakhta Hai Taki Marne Ke Baad Ye Amir Ho Jaye
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Sardar jb peshab karne k lye gia to radio sath le gia.
Bv :aj to bare maze se kia hoga
sardar:khak maze se jb bithne laga to qaumi tarana shoru hogia aur khare ho k karna para.
by Sabir shah (few years ago!)
Memon Ki BIWI:
Bas B Karo Ye Tea Bag 18 Dafa Use Kr Liya Ab
Phenk Den,
Memon:Kardi Na Jaahilon Wali Baat, Is K Packet Pr
Expiry Date 2011 Likhi Hy.
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Bandar ka bachcha apni ma se: main kitna badsurat hoon. Bandar ki ma: Bhagwaan ka shukar ada karo aur usko dekho jo SMS pad raha hai.....
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Teacher- jis aadmi ke dono hath nahi hote
use hindi aur english mey kya
khte hey?
student-hindi mey "thakur"
english mey "handsfree"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
New Teacher:
anybody who thinks he is stupid, stand up
pappu stoodup
Teacher: R U stupid?
Pappu: “nhi, Aap akeli khari theen mujhe acha nhi lag raha tha”
by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?"
* "I ought to be able to. I've had ten different jobs in four months."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Mujse koi galti ho
gayi hai kya?
Pichle 1 hafte se
mujhe ignore kar rahe ho.
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plz
aisa mat karo..
tumhara pyara..
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“SABUN”
PLZ NAHA LO YaaR.
by Abdul Sami (few years ago!)
Ek student Exam hall mai Paper par apna Panja Bana raha tha
Examiner: Beta Paper mai tu Hand ka diagram wala koi Question nahi
Student: Mai Paper Banany Waly par
Laanat bhaij raha hon
by Haris abbas Qureshi (few years ago!)