Forums > General Talks > jokes collection by khurrambaber
khurrambaber


Age: 42 Male
4848 days old here
Total Posts: 2400
Points : 60

Location:
gujranwala, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Subject : jokes collection by khurrambaber (closed)
Aik sardar ko exam my koi swal nahe ata tha,srdar ny hr swal ky nechay |||||||||||| is tara ke lines laga de or lika


Scratch kr ky answer parhlen.

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Posted on June, 06 2011 03:38:52 PM
mak412


Age: 28 Male
3652 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Aik gappo: agar hadse main aik kan kat jaye to kia hoga?
Doosra gappo: main soon nahi sakoonga.
Pahla gappo: aur agar donoon kan kat jaye to?
Doosra : to main dakh nahi sakoonga.
Pahla: kiun wo kaise?
Doosra: kiun keh main phir ainak kaise lagaunga?



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Posted on May, 31 2014 03:35:16 PM
mak412


Age: 28 Male
3652 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Aik dost (dosre dost se): yar main bara fikar mand hoon, mari beti ka qad nahi barhta, kuch alaj batao.
Dost: bara acha tareeqa batata hoon tum apni beti ka naam menhgayi rakh lo phir dekhna is ka qad kitni rafter se barhta hai.




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Posted on May, 31 2014 03:36:38 PM
mak412


Age: 28 Male
3652 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Aik mahir nafsiat ko aik taqreeb main taqreer karne ke liye bolaya gia. Inhoon ne apni taqreer main bewaquf saksh ki kuch nishan'yan batayeen aur phir ye kaha ab aap logon main se jo shaksh apne aap ko bewaquf samaghta ho wo khara ho jaye. Lakin majma main se koyi bhi khara nahi hoya. Ye dakh ker chand lamhe towaqqaf ke bad aik shaksh khara ho gia.
Mahir nafsiat ne poocha: han bhayi kia tum is ley khare hoye ho kay apne aap ko bewaquf samaghte ho? Is shaksh ne jabab dia: ''ji nahi dar-asal aap akely khare ache nahi lag rahe the''.


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Posted on May, 31 2014 03:38:24 PM
mak412


Age: 28 Male
3652 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Aik aadmi shayeri main buhat mashhor tha. Wo aik din aik moshaire main gia aur apna kalam sunana shuru kia. “do paint” majma se aawaz aai.
Wah……….wha!’
“do shartain.”
“wah! Kia khub.” Samain ne dad di.
“aik topi.”
“Wah! Kia khub, dobara irshad ………… “ majma ne israr kia.
Shayar ghabra kar bola.” Maaf kijye ga main gazal kay bajaye dhobi ka bil utha laya hoon.

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Posted on May, 31 2014 03:41:07 PM
mak412


Age: 28 Male
3652 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Aik shakhs wakeel se bare ghusse meinkeh raha tha.
Tum talaq dilane key liye 400 dolor fees mang rahe ho jabkeh shadi karne mein sirf 50 dolor kharch huye the.
Wakeel ne muskura kar jawab dia. “janab aazadi key liye hameshah bari qurbani deni parti hai.


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Posted on May, 31 2014 03:44:00 PM
mak412


Age: 28 Male
3652 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Hotale ka bera costomer se! “ janab aap ne 5 rupees tip day kar meri toheen ki hai”
Gahak bere ko ghoor kar bola.”Aur kia chahiye tumhein?”
Bera! “5 rupees aur dijye”
Gahak” aik bar 5 rupe de kar tumhari toheen kar chukka hon dobarah 5 rupe de kar mazeed toheen nahi karna chahta hon.

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Posted on May, 31 2014 03:45:39 PM
mak412


Age: 28 Male
3652 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Honeymoon key doran biwi kay dant mein shaded dard hogia.shohar use doctor key pas le gia. Doctor ne check up key baad kaha. Is dant ko aik sal qabal nikal dena chahiye tha.
Shohar bola aap dant nikal kar is ka bill mere Susar ko bheej dein kiun keh yeh ghaflat inhi ki hai.


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Posted on May, 31 2014 03:47:11 PM
mak412


Age: 28 Male
3652 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Aik jahaz main safar ke doran pagal apne sath football bhi lay aaye. Jab jahaz opar gia to unonay foot bal khailni shoro kardi jis ki waja say jahaz hilnay laga. Wahan aik sidha sada pagal bhi baitha hua tha. Aik Air hostess ne is pagal say kaha. “Baith jaain. Jahaz tabah hojai ga. Aik ghantay baad khamoshi chagai. Air hostess ne aakar dacha to jahaz bilkul khali tha. Is ne baithay huye pagal se pucha k saray pagal musafir kahan gaye? Is pagal ne jawab dia. “ main ne unhain kaha kay bahar jakar khelo aur wo chalay gai hain.”


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Posted on May, 31 2014 03:50:30 PM
mak412


Age: 28 Male
3652 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Ostad shagird say: aap kal school kiun nahi aaye the?
Shagird : sir mujhay bird flu ho gia tha.
Ostad : bird flu to mughiyon ko hota hai.
Shagird: mein ab insan nahi raha sir, kiun keh mujhay har roz murgha jo bana detay hain.


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Posted on May, 31 2014 03:53:06 PM
mak412


Age: 28 Male
3652 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Kisi dehati nay apnay dost say kaha. Chalo shehar ki ser karnay chaltay hain. Is kay dost nay kaha dil to mera bhi buhat chahta hai lekin shehar mein jagah jagah jo hidayatein darj hoti hain in par amal karna khasa mushkil hai.

Pichlay mahinay mein shehar gia. Aik jagah likha tha. Yahan thookye. Majbooran mujhay wahan thookna para. Doosri jaga likha tha raddi kaghaz is mein dalein. Mein nay road say raddi utha kar is mein daal di.

Chand qadam aagay bara wahan likha tha, rafter 40 mile/fi ghanta. Bhala batao mein burha aadmi itni teiz rafter say kaisay dor sakta hon lekin marta kia nahi karta mein nay 40 mile/fig hanta ki rafter say dor laga di aur is din kay baad mein nay shehar janay say tobah kar li.


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Posted on May, 31 2014 03:55:57 PM
mak412


Age: 28 Male
3652 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Aik martaba raat giay aik chor ghar main dakhil huwa sab log so rahe the chor ne bagair kisi pareshani aur rokawat kay sara ghar chan mara magar koyi chiz hath na aayi khosusan sona wagaira, aakhir wo soye hoye afraad khana kay pas ponhcha aur saheb ko utha ker qadre roub se bola. Sona kidhar hai. Un saheb ne beghair aankh khole itminan se jawab dia. Sara ghar khali hai jahan ji chahe so jao.



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Posted on May, 31 2014 03:58:44 PM
mak412


Age: 28 Male
3652 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Sabiq Cricketer Imran Khan Vote mangne kay liye kisi muhalley mein gaye. Wahan kisi ka inteqal hogia tha. Imran ne soncha k Vote mangne ka acha tariqa hai.
Progam kay mutabiq wo wahan gaye. Fateha parhi bole. “Allah bakhshe marhoom mere jigri dost the. Rozana mere ghar tashreef late. Aur hum aadhi raat tak guftagu karte. Kabhi kabhi to wo mere ghar sojate. “log buhat hairan hoye. Imran Khan ne hairan hone ki wajah puchi to logon ne bataya k marne wali to ghulam rasool ki ghar wali thi.


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Posted on May, 31 2014 04:00:10 PM
mak412


Age: 28 Male
3652 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Aik aadmi jangal jangal se guzar raha tha

Lion: "aaj mein tumhara khoon pi jaaonga".

Aadmi: "mera khoon thanda hai, mere piche aik nojawaan aaraha hai us ka khoon garam hai uss ka khoon pina."

Lion: "nahi, aaj mera dil cold drink pine ko ji chah raha hai."


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Posted on May, 31 2014 04:01:22 PM
mak412


Age: 28 Male
3652 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Aik bhikari Sarak(Road) par langra kar chal raha tha. Samne se teen dost aarahe the. Bhikari ko iss tarah chalet daikh kar pehle dost ne kaha. “yar dekho be chare bhikari ki tang tooti hoyi hai”.

Doosre dost ne kaha: “nahi yar! Mujhe lagta hai keh is ki tang maflooj ho gayi hai.”
Yeh sun kar tisra dost bola. “ tum donon ghalat andaze laga rahe ho, mujhe lagta hai is ki tang ko polio ho chukka hai”.

Iss baat par teenon doston mein takraar hone lagi. Bala-akhir inhon ne faislah kia keh wo bhikari se hi puch lete hain, wo teenon bhikari ke paas gaye aur is se pucha. “ bhayi saheb! Yeh aap ki tang kis tarah tooti”.

Bhikari (ghosse se teenon doston ko ghurte hoye bola) “arey! Meri tang nahi balkeh mera juta tuta hai “.


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Posted on May, 31 2014 04:03:34 PM
mak412


Age: 28 Male
3652 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Imran: “ iss gaye (cow) ke singh kiun nahi hain?
Jalal: “ baaz ke paidaishi nahi hote, baaz ke larayi jhagray mein toot jate hain, baaz ke hum khood kaat dete hain lekin jis kit tum baat kar rahe ho yeh, gaye nahi gadha hai.”


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Posted on May, 31 2014 04:04:46 PM
mak412


Age: 28 Male
3652 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Aik saaheb ki binayi kamzor ho rahi thi. Wo aankhon ke doctor ke paas gaye. Doctor ne aankhon ka check up karne ke baad kaha: “ abhi aap ainak na lagwayain balkeh aap carrots khana shoro kar dain.”

In sahib ne kaha: “ lekin carrots to hamare kharghosh (rabbit) buhat raghbat se khate hain, yeh ajeeb ilaaj hai.”

Doctor: “kia aap ne apne rabbit ko ainak lagate dekha hai?”


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Posted on May, 31 2014 04:06:22 PM
mak412


Age: 28 Male
3652 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Zahni maraaz ke hospital se aik mareez ko chutti dene se pehle doctor ne mareez se kaha. “Allah ka shukar hai ab aap bilkul theek hain. Aaj hum aap ko ghar bhaij rahe hain. Aap hamara bil ada kar dain.”

Mareez ne shahana lehje main kaha. “ bil kon sa bil? Shahi tabyat tumhara dimagh to kharab nahi ho gia keh Akbar Badsha se bil ki raqam mang rahe ho”.


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Posted on May, 31 2014 04:07:40 PM
mak412


Age: 28 Male
3652 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Atif : “yar farhan! Mein ne suna hai keh mosiqi ke asraat se pani kholta hai.”

Farhan: “ yeh to sach hi hoga kiun keh jab tum gana gate ho to aksar mera khoon kholta uthta hai.”


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Posted on May, 31 2014 04:10:38 PM
mak412


Age: 28 Male
3652 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Aik aurat ne apni saheli se pucha “buhat arse se tumhare shohar nazar nahi aarahe, kia baat hai, kia vo bimaar hain?”

Saheli Boli “kuch arse pehle vo bimaar the, main unhain Doctor key paas le gayi, Doctor ne unhain aaram karne ka mashwarah dia aur kaha keh jab tak mein na kahon, bistar se na uthna, iss key baad doctor ka inteqaal ho gia.”


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Posted on May, 31 2014 04:12:17 PM
mak412


Age: 28 Male
3652 days old here
Total Posts: 1290
Points : 11

Location:
sargodha, Pakistan

Status : Offline		 Aik saheb apne dost key ghar rahne gaye, dost ka aik hi bacha tha jin se saheb har waqt batain karte rahte the, bacha in key har waqt bolne se be had tang tha, aik din saheb ne bache se kaha. “Mian! Agar mein kahon keh abhi raat ho rahi hai magar din ka waqt ho to tum kia karo gay?”

Bache ne munh banate huye jawab dia. “ Abbu se kahun ga keh aap ko pagal khane le jayain.”


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Posted on May, 31 2014 04:13:40 PM
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