Teesra Jo Ye Sab Sun Raha Tha Kehne Laga Main To,
Paani, Doodh, Patti Aur Cheeni Moun Main Daal Ke
Choolhey Pe Baith Jata Hoon...

The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and adozen donuts

As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.

'No,' she replied, ' but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'

Husband to wife: " Golfing with friends, my dear."

Wife to husband: " What ? At 2 am ? "

Husband to wife: " Yes, We used night clubs.

" Terrible ! " the roommate answered. " He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce".

" Wow! That's a very expensive car. What 's so bad
about that ? "

"He was the original owner."

The man immediately leans out his window and replies, "BITCH!!"

They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.

"If you'll just learn to cook," he said, "we can fire the chef."

"Okay," she said. "and if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener."

The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said, "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world."

"I'm glad that you feel that way because tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us," she replied

One day, the man abruptly dies. After the burial, the wife goes straight to the local bar and begins to party. Her friends ask if she isn't worried about her husband digging himself out of the grave.

The wife smiles, "Let the old bugger dig. I had him buried upside down!"

He was sure it was Havaii, but she maintains that it was Hawaii.

As soon as they landed they asked the first person they saw, "Would you mind telling me the name of this island?"

"Havaii!", the man replied.

"Thanks", answered the man.

"You're Velcome," the man replied.

JABKI MAINE USE APNE LAUTNE KA SMS BHI BHEJA THA, TUM HI BATAO, ISE KYA KAHENGE?”

DUSRA DOST BOLA- “YAHI KI SHAYAD USE TUMHARA SMS NAHI MILA.”

Pathan: Lekin Mujhe Rasta nahi Maloom.

Sardar: Bus Tum meray peechay peechay aatay rehna.

Pathan: Thanks Yara...

Pathan: I'm sorry.

Girl: Andhey ho kya ?

Ek Handsome boy ka b paon Larki k paon k oopar aa gaya,

Larka: I'm sorry.

Larki: It's ok, No problem

Pathan: (Ghussey mein) Q humara SORRY ka spellings galat tha kya ?

The police man asked the person who was there earlier, "How does your wife look like??"

That man replied, "She is a smart, good looking woman, 5 feet 8 inch, 36-28-32, beautiful & attractive body with blonde hairs"

Police man noted down those details and asked the other person, "What does your wife look like?"

He said in excitement, "Forget mine, let's go and find his wife!!!"

Wife - When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Hubby - You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Wife - Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one

Utha ke phenk do gali main bahir
Nai tehzeeb ke annde hain gande

Aik khalari khara ho kar bola” baba jee Allama Iqbal ne ye us waqt kaha tha jab aap jawan the, hum to us waqt peda hi nahi hoye the.”

PATHAN APNI BIVI SAY:
oye kam se kam pankha to chala day.

BiWI: kar di na phir pathano wali baat…
pankha chalaingay to mombatti bujh nahin jayegi

Aur brabar mein bhi, ek aadmi apne dost
ki kabar par chawal daal raha hota hai.

Pehla aadmi doosre se kehta hai,
Ye tumhara dost phool sunghne kab uthe ga

Doosra aadmi,
Jab tumhara dost chawal khane uthe ga