These two Scottish

These two Scottish characters are chatting. One of them then pulls out an expensive looking pocket watch from his pocket to check the time.

"That's a fine watch you got there!" says the other.

"Yeah it is, isn't it? I got it from my grandfather," says the guy with the watch. "Really?"

"Yeah, he sold it to me on his death bed."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!) / 586 views
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True Politicial Story

Supposedly G.B. Shaw once sent Winston Churchill some tickets for the first night of one of his plays.

Churchill then sent Shaw a telegram to the effect: "Cannot come first night. Will come second night if you have one."

Shaw promptly replied: "Here are two tickets for the second night. Bring a friend if you have one."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A Driving School Test

The following are a sampling of real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school.

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?

A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?

A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?

A: Your car.

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?

A: Be too drunk to find your keys.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?

A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?

A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if she is cute.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?

A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?

A: Heavy psychedelics.

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?

A: Carry loaded weapons.

Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?

A: It would be tough to be an idiot all day long.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
sardar

Sardar :
Maa khush khabri hai.
Maa: Bool bata.
Sardar: maa hum 2 sa 3 ho gaya.
Maa: beeta huwa ya beeti.
Sardar: Mari biwi na dosri shadi kar li.

by Umair Rahim (few years ago!)
bank

2 PATHAN bank lootne gay par GUN bhool gay.
Phir bhi bank loot liya.
KESE?
Bank manager bhi PATHAN tha
Bola GUN kal dikha jana
Hum ko zuban ka etbar hy.

by Zia Rasool (few years ago!)
pathan in namaz

Pathan Namaz Parhnay Gaya 0r do Baar Wazoo Kya:


Kisi ne Pucha: Khan Sahab Aapne do Baar Wozoo Kyo kia?



Pathan: Agar ek Toot Gaya to Dosra Kaam Aayega

by Abdul Hannan (few years ago!)
Husband to Wife

Husband to Wife : Mein shaadi se pehle 20 auraton ke saath so chuka hoon.

Wife : Mujhe pata tha ki jab kundli mili hai to aadatein bhi zarur milti hogi!!!

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Tu derhti pe chahye jahan bhi rhe gi

Boy :tu dharti pe chahe jaha b rhegi tujhe teri
khusbu se Pehchan Lunga
Girl: Ma KASAM mujhe phle se hi shak tha k tu
sala"KUTTA" he

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
3 chhipkliyan diwar pe chal rahi thein.

3 chhipkliyan diwar pe chal rahi thein.
Ek ne gana shuru kiya
Jaisey hi gana band kiya baki ke do gir padein!
Bolo kyon?
Stupid eis liye
Baki dono ne tali bajai…

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Tumne Samaaj K Liye Kaun

Judge- Tumne Samaaj K Liye Kaun Sa Bhala Kaam Kiya Hai

Mujrim- Saab, Humare Karan Hi Police Aur Adalat Me Lakho Logo Ko Naukri Mili Hui Hai

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Operation Fail

Nurse:Udhaas kyu baite ho sir?

Doctor:Dopahar jiska operation kiya tha, woh mar gaya.

Nurse: Arey woh to post mortem tha.

Doctor:Tho main subah kiska post mortem kiyaa tha.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
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