Medical; 622 Jokes

Santa Ek Din Apna Checkup

Santa Ek Din Apna Checkup Karvane Ek Doctor Ke Paas Gaya.

Doctor: “Aur Snata Ji, Kaise Aana Hua?”

Santa: “Doctor Sahab, Kuch Tabiyat Theek Nahi Hai, Liver Mein Bahut Jayada Dard Ho Raha Hai?”

Doctor: “Daaroo Peete Ho?”
Santa Khush Hote Hue Bola: “Haan, Par Chhota Peg Hi Banana“

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
chashma

Dr: Apka weight kitna hai?
Patient: Chashme ke sath 75 kgs.
Dr: Aur bina chashme ke?
Patient: Woh bina chasme ke toh mujhe dikhta hi nahi,,

by haleema sadia (few years ago!)
opration

doctor mareez k peechey bhag raha tha
logon ne pocha kya hua?
doc: 4 baar aisa hua
sala dimagh ka operation karwany aata hai or baal katwa k bhag jata hai

by Zia Rasool (few years ago!)
Boy 2 doctor

Boy 2 doctor:-
Meri girlfriend pregnant hai. . Par maine to protection li thi...

Doctor:- Ek kahani suno

Ek shikari ek Gun ki jagah ek umbrella le Gaya... achanak Lion samne aaya toh usne umbrella ka handle khicha aur fire kiya... Lion wahi mar Gaya...
...
Boy:- Impossible kisi aur ne goli mari hogi... Doctor :- Exactly ...!

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Patient: Doctor

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation.

Doctor: Yes, of course.

Patient: Great. I never could before.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
1 Nurse ka Mangaitar

1 Nurse ka Mangaitar usay bari hasrat se:

“Jaanu kash mujhe koi haadsa paish aata to main tumhare ward main admit hota, Tum meri khidmat karti aur main jaldi theek ho jata”,

Nurse: Jaan tumhe mere paas koi hadsa nahi balkay moujza hi la sakta hai, kyon k main DELIVERY ward main hoti hoon

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Patient to Nurse

Patient to Nurse: ‘I Love You’
Tumne to mera Dil hi Chura
Liya”. NURSE : “chal jhoota ,
.
Mene to sirf tumhaari Kidney churai
hai”

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Lamba Jeevan Kaise Jiya Jaye?

Ek Aadmi Doctor Ke Paas Gaya.
Aadmi: “Doctor Saab, Koi Aisi Dawa Bataiye Jis Se Main Lamba Jeevan Ji Sakoon”

Doctor: “Shaadi Karlo”

Aadmi: “Kya Baat Kar Rahe Ho Doctor Saab, Shaadi Karne Se Lambi Umar Ho Jati Hai?”

Doctor: “Nahi, Shaadi Kar Lene Se Lamba Jeevan Jine Ki Ichha Khatam Ho Jati Hai“

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Gazab Ki English

Ek Aurat Doctor Ke Paas Bhagi-Bhagi Jati Hai Aur Bolti Hai.

Aurat: “Mera Beta Motor Cycle Se Gir Gaya Hai”

Doctor: “I Can’t Understand Please Speak In English”

Aurat: “My Londa Is Gironda From Hero Honda“

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Santa Ki Biwi Ka Operation

Preeto Ka Abhi Operation Hua Hi Tha Ki Doctor Preeto Ke Paas Ja Kar Bola.

Doctor: “I Am Sorry Operation Ke Waqt Rubber Ka Glove Aapke
Pet Mein Rah Gaya Hai, Dobara Operation Karna Hoga”
Doctor Ki Baat Sun Kar Santa Bola.

Santa: “Abey Pagal Hai Kya? Ye Le 20 Rupay, Naya Le Le“

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Agar Doctor Log Film Banate To Title Kya Hota?

Agar Doctor Log Film Banate To Title Kya Hota?

1. Kabhi Khansi Kabhi Dam

2. Kaho Na Bukhar Hai.

3. T.B No.1.

4. Hum Blood De Chuke Sanam

5. Kal Patient Ho Na Ho

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Doctor Ki Dawayi To Vakiye Hi Kamal Ki Thi

Santa Ko Der Se Uthne Ki Aadat Thi, Isliye Wo Hamesha Office Der Se Pahunchta Tha.

Uska Boss Iss Baat Se Bahut Naraj Tha, Akhir Usne Santa Ko Chetavani De Hi Di Aur Kaha,
Boss: “Ya To Tum Jaldi Aao Ya Naukri Chod Do”

Haar Kar Santa Ek Doctor Ke Paas Gaya, Aur Usne Kuch Goliya Di Aur Kaha Ki Ab Tum Samaye Par Jaag Jaoge.

Raat Ko Santa Dawai Kha Kar So Gaya, Subha Jab Wo Utha To Sachmuch Suraj Nahi Nikla Tha,

Dawa Ne To Kamaal Hi Kar Diya Tha, Wo Khush-Khushi Tyaar Hua Aur Samaye Se Thoda Pehle Hi Office Pahunch Gaya,
Usne Apne Boss Se Kaha: “Sir, Doctor Ki Dawa To Kamaal Ki Hai”

Boss Berukhi Se Bole: “Wo To Theek Hai, Lekin Pehle Tum Ye Batao Ke Kal Tum Kaha The?“

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Aakhir Doctor Mara Kyu?

India Ke Ek Bus Stand Pe Ek American Doctor Ek Kitab Padne Ke Baad Heart Attack Ki Wajah Se Mar Gaya

Socho Kitab Ka Naam Kya Tha?
30 Din Mein Doctor Kaise Bane, Keemat Sirf 75 Rs.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Hai To Vakiye Hi Ye Hairani Ki Baat

Ek Mareej Doctor Ke Paas Gaya.
Mareej: “Doctor Sahab, Mere Kaan Mein Matar Ka Podha Ugg Aaya Hai”

Doctor: “Ye Badi Hairani Ki Baat Hai”

Mareej: “Ji Haan Doctor Sahab, Hairani Ki Baat To Hai, Kyun Ki Mene To Apne Kaan Mein Bhindi Ke Beej Dale The“

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Kya Kaha Doctor Ne?

Pati Bahut Jyada Beemar Ho Gaya Tha, Aur Thik Nahi Ho Paa Raha Tha.

Patni Usko Shahar Ke Ek Bahut Bade Doctor Ke Pass Le Gayi.

Doctor Ne Achhi Tarha Se Checkup Kiya Aur Patni Ko Samjhate Hue Bola.

Doctor: “Inko Achha Aur Healthy Breakfast Do, Hamesha Inke Sath Achi Trha Se Bolo, Apni Koi Bhi Problem Inko Mat Batao, Ghar Mein Koi Bhi Tv Serials Na Dekho, Shopping Naye Kapde Aur Jewellery Ki Koi Bhi Deemand Bilkul Bhi Na Kare, Aisa Ek Saal Tak Karo Ye Bikul Perfect Ho Jayenge”

Ghar Aate Hue Raste Mein Pati Ne Patni Se Puchha
Pati: “Kya Kaha Doctor Ne?”

Patni Dukhi Man Se Boli: “Aapke Bachne Ki Koi Umeed Nahi Hai”

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

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