Women; 639 Jokes

Win Lottery

Lotto Winner :
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!'

The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?'

'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Top 10 things only women understand

10) Cats' facial expressions.
9) The need for the same style of shoes in many different colors.
8) Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7) “Fat” clothes.
6) Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5) The difference between beige, off-white and eggshell.
4) Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
3) Eyelash curlers.
2) The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
1) Other women.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Stress Reliver

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Falling Asleep

Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, "You know, I've been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!'.

The other woman turned to her and said "I know! I heard it snoring!"

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Seeing a Bikini

A very fat woman comes into a store and tells the clerk,

"I would like to see a bikini that fits me."

Clerk, "me too..."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Genius BF

A worried father confronted his daughter one night. "I don't like that new boyfriend, he's rough and common and bloody stupid with it."

"Oh no, Daddy," the daughter replied, "Fred's ever so clever, we've only been going out nine weeks and he's cured me of that illness I used to get once a month."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
I Coudn't!

2 girls meet:

me & my husband are no longer together...
why?

well, could you live with a person who smokes weed, drinks, has no job and always cusses?

no, of course I couldn't!

well he couldn't either!

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A woman dies

A woman died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to her, "Before you enter, can you tell me God's first name?" She thought for a moment and then said, "Andy." St. Peter was astonished and asked, "How did you come up with Andy?" "Well," the woman replied, " we sing it in church all the time.

Andy walks with me, Andy talks to me, Andy tells me I am his own."

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Ek Faqeer Bachi Se

Ek Faqeer Bachi Se

ALLAH Ky Nam Pe Dy Beta.

Bachi:Mei Beta Nhi Beti Hun.
...
Faqeer:ALLAH Ky Nam Pe Dy Beti.

Bachi:Mera Naam Sabiha Hy.

Faqeer:ALLAH Ky Naam Pe De Sabiha.

Bachi:Mera Poora Naam Sabiha Parveen Hy.

Faqeer:ALLAH Ky Naam Pe Dy Sabiha Parveen.

Bachi: Ye Hui Na Baat.

"Maaf Kro BABA" =D

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

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