Women; 639 Jokes
The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a Emily, young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap. Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, 'What do you want for Christmas?'
'Something for my mother, please,' replied Emily sweetly.
'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. 'What do would you like me to bring her?'
Without turning a hair Emily answered quickly, 'A son-in-law.'
by Muhammad Sadeeq (few years ago!)
A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too! "
"What a coincidence," he said, "This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating."
"This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!," says the woman.
"What a coincidence," says the man. As they clinked glasses he asked, "What are you celebrating?"
"My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"
"What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs."
"That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"
"I switched cocks," he replied.
She smiled and said, "What a coincidence!"
by Muhammad Sadeeq (few years ago!)
ek maa nay bachay ko nasihat kartay huay kaha:.
"yaad rakho. hum is dunya mai dosron ki khidmat karnay eye hain".
bachay na thori der socha phir poocha. "aur ammi, doosray kis liye aaye hain??".
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A Sardarji, very proud of his humour used to say to his wife leaving for the office : `Good bye Char Bacchon ki Maa` .
One day his wife fed up of this answered : ` Bye Bye, Doo Bacchon Ke Baap`.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her. The man in the car says to her, What do you have in the bag?
The blonde replies: I have chickens!
The man thinks for a moment and says, If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?
The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, Okay, but I`ll make the bet even better! If you can guess how many chickens,
I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel.
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
1 punjabi k gher main 2 bachey jurwan paida huway, to dadi boli:
Lo Dasso Hun tay pakistan day halaat vaikh k bachey vi kally aan tou dar day ney.....
(lo batao ab tu Pakistan key halat daikh key bachey bi akaily aney sey dartey hain)
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:
Topic 1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
Topic 2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
Topic 3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
Topic 4. Bathroom Etiquette: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too
Topic 5. Communication Skills : Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
Topic 6. Communication Skills II: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
Topic 7. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
Topic 8. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
Topic 9. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Have
Topic 10. Oil and Petrol: Your Car Needs Both
by Hina Ali (few years ago!)
A beautiful female college student comes to a young professor’s office.She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly, “I would do anything to pass this exam.”
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. “I mean…” she whispers, “… I would do…anything!!!” He returns her gaze. “Anything???”
“Yes… Anything!!!” His voice turns to a whisper. “Would you….. study???”.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
I saw someone in coffie shop,
Attractive, Graceful, Intelligent, Smart and Decent.
More like a celebrity.
I went to Closer...... .
OH GOD!!!!
Yeh Mirrors bhi na.Ufffffffffff
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Girl 2 Pandit: Ji mere 2 affairs hain, un dono main kis ke saath shadi hogi? Woh khush naseeb kaun hoga??
Pandit: Pehle se shadi hogi aur dusra khush naseeb hoga.
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
An old woman is going up in a lift in a very Lavish department store when a young, beautiful woman gets in, smelling of expensive scent. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly "Romance by Ralph Lauren, £100 a bottle."
Then another young woman gets in the lift, She also turns to the old woman and says snootily "Chanel No 5, £150 a bottle."
A few floors later, the old woman has reached her destination. As she gets out, she looks both woman in the eye, then turns round, bends over and farts, saying "Broccoli, 25p a pound."
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Ann: What does your husband do?
Liza: What a husband should do.
Ann: I’m not asking about the night, but the day.
Liza: OK. He does the same during the day too.
Ann: I’m asking what he does for a living!!
Liza: That’s what I’m answering. He is so excited all the time. Day or night, it doesn’t make any difference to him. He is always in the bedroom.
Ann: A s*x maniac?
Liza: No, not at all. He is always in bedrooms breaking the lockers. He is a burglar
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Mother to daughter: “What kind of person is your new boyfriend? Is he respectable?”
“Of course he is, Mom. He’s thrifty, doesn’t drink or smoke, has a very nice wife and three well-behaved children.”
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!
I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane.
It scared me so bad I dropped my electric shaver in my coffee, and it spilled all over my cell phone!
by Pak101.com (few years ago!)